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| Indy 500 the rolling walker photobombs me in the car. |
I’m spending less time these days reading social media news feeds and more time learning about how my body works so I can keep trying to fight all of the conditions that are wrecking me. I’m tired, but I don’t give up easily. I’m looking for books about channelopathies, neurology, and nephrology, if anyone can point me in a good direction on that. Preferably, I need reading material that I don’t have to pay for, since I’m poor. I've sadly had to give up on going to renal and muscular dystrophy clinics because I can't afford it any longer. Much of this issue involves my dad's abandonment of his promise to my mother on her deathbed, which, according to him, was to make sure I continued to seek medical care. She did tell me she regretted not doing so herself as she was dying. He in turn told her he would set money aside for my out-of-state medical care, and he instructed me to keep scheduling appointments in Jackson, which he planned to cover. All of that changed when he met the young bank teller/wannabe musician. I digress. It's his money and his life. I'm staying out of it.
I appreciate how kind my doctors were to me, and I will miss Dr. C especially. He inspired me, and I hope we can be friends someday in another life or something (preferably this one, if I get a choice). I'm devastated about losing more doctors, and it's also pretty scary. I've got one left, at the low-income clinic by my apartment. Thankfully, Dr. B is still on this crazy train, for now.
Speaking of the apartment, I am still attempting to minimize it. I donated collectibles and clothing to the local Make-A-Wish thrift store, including my kick scooter (which I can no longer balance on, of course), so I hope it finds a great home. I'm sorting through my closets and finally dealing with a lot of things I had stored away. Some of it hurts my heart, but I’m determined to own a lot less when I move out of this apartment someday. I’ll post photos soon of some things I’ve found that are fun or interesting or free for a local to claim.
I haven’t found the stamina yet, but I am planning to sort the pantry and freezer by expiration date, so that should be fun. The fridge is still nothing but liquids, applesauce, and pudding, so it’s already good to go. My digestive system and my diet are still a mess to deal with, and it looks like a permanent issue.
I’m very sick, but I’m going to become a capable, organized domestic queen if it kills me, ha. It very well might, but I need to do this. For me alone.
I've been given a lot of love and well wishes through all of this drama, and I am grateful. I do want to resume blogging on a more regular basis. Eventually, I’d like to give Facebook Live a go. We'll see what happens.
