This is 43

 

Another month has passed in this new, weird world.

The end of April is here. Welcome to strawberry season!

Gorgeous! *smooch*

I got those at a nearby outdoor farmer's market, along with a lot of other lovely produce. I enjoyed everything, but I gotta say I really suffered for it. Gastroparesis hates fiber; it's the #1 enemy. I'm supposed to be on a "soft" diet of mashed potatoes, soup broth, crackers, etc. And I do comply sometimes, especially when I can't handle anything else. But I push the limits, and because I'm a sassy woman, sometimes I say to heck with it all and eat what I want. That's when salad and fruit and stir-frys happen. Or club sandwiches. Or Mexican food. Or pizza. It's pretty rare these days, but I refuse to give it up completely while my body is still hanging in there. Hopefully I'll continue to be able to digest some foods, albeit, with the assistance of several medications.

Sigh. Life is exhausting.

Shrimp and cheesy rice

(More food pics on my Instagram @ ugottafriend)

People have asked (especially on AskFM...yeah, I'm still there) how my life has changed from the pandemic. The answer is "very little". I can't reasonably call myself lucky for not being able to work, and thus not being frequently exposed, but at the moment, being home is an advantage for the sole reason that it's safer. I'm sure that goes without saying. I will say that grocery shopping is pretty stressful, and I've made an effort not to do it very often, but I finally had to go yesterday to stock up. I had run out of laundry detergent (I'm still having to use a shared laundromat, so that's stressful too), desperately needed cleaning supplies, and my fridge was nearly empty due to no condiments. I put on one of my masks, and got it done.

One thing that I have not run out of throughout all of this is toilet paper. It has been so strange to see the shelves empty of TP, of all things. I'm not sure I understand the mania over this one item. I always buy it in bulk, though, so I'm actually good through May!

The grocery store that I shop at had a hand-washing station set up, so that was nice. The manager was mopping the floor, everyone was wearing a mask, and sanitizing wipes were available. I happen to think hand sanitizer isn't as helpful as people think it is, but I acknowledge that it's better than nothing right now. 

Something else that has changed is that some of the restaurants in my area have shut down. I'll miss the occasional wonton soup and cheese curds. Maybe they'll find their way back into business someday. A few of the remaining restaurants are a hot mess trying to figure out how to operate curbside. You can definitely tell who's cut out for it, and who is not. I've gone out a few times for meals, and my experiences have ranged from smooth to absolute train wreck. I'm mostly staying home, cooking one meal a day, snacking, and doing some intermittent fasting. Somehow, I've lost about 8 pounds. I still have plenty more to lose, but I'm trying not to overthink that.

Ordering online has been interesting. A lot of things are not available at this time while the focus is on COVID-related materials and basic necessities. Yet, those necessities are sold out. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I did finally receive two birthday gifts on Tuesday that had been delayed five weeks.

The gifts:

Someone sent British candy from Northern Ireland!

It was melted all to heck! But it's in the fridge now.

I eat chocolate very slowly, so these will last months.

I can finally retire my 12 year old blender.

God rest its soul. I'll be using this new one soon.

For those wondering if I received a stimulus check, no. As of today, I have not. They're telling us (us meaning social security recipients) that we'll receive a supplement to our regular social security income sometime in May. We are last on the list of people who will get something. I suppose that is due to the IRS making tax payers a priority, which is understandable. (I do pay some taxes, but not federal, since I'm disabled and my income is not officially counted. It's strictly survival funds.) At any rate, I guess I'll eventually be issued a check. I figure I'll use it to get out of debt, even though it'll leave me with nothing extra to live on (ok maybe $30, if I'm doing the math right). We'll see.

I can't decide if this 3 A.M. selfie makes me look 32, 42, or 52. LOL

I'm the middle one, but most of y'all already knew that. I feel older, of course.

I'll give a long medical update eventually. I've been putting it off, but I know I need to keep talking about it. I don't believe my voice is needed anymore, since there is so much advocacy now, but I'll think about how to proceed with my blog(s) over the next couple of months, and let y'all know.

Thanks for being here, and please continue to be safe. Let's get through May successfully.

The end of a long, long month

We're finally coming up on April. I hope my readers are doing well.

The pandemic has been stressful to follow. Alabama just today went on lock-down. The governor waited until Alabamans started dying and the number of infected doubled overnight before she acted. Places like Alabama and its next door neighbor (Mississippi, who is dragging even slower) think they are the only places in the world and give no regard to what's happening mere hours away, much less around the world. It's a shame. We need smarter, less narrow-minded people in legislature. I wish everyone who is taking this seriously utmost safety.

I'm ok. I read some info released by PPI concerning HKPP and COVID-19, and it's a worst case scenario unfortunately. I'm having to stay far away from people and most places, but I'm surviving. I've received a generous stock of electrolyte drinks from Amazon thanks to online friends who helped. I'm grateful to them for the care they've shown me this month, and always. Yesterday, I traded my brother a loaf of bread and some Girl Scout cookies for a couple of packs of paper towels. Crazy times we're living in! I'm sure we can all agree that we didn't see this coming. I expect to be a hermit in April, but I hope we'll see things take a serious turn for the better by the time May rolls around.

My niece sent me a personalized birthday card.

Can you believe that's Baby Jo? She's NINE!

Ask is a wild and busy little place.

I reached 5000 responses this week.

Just a year ago, I think I was at 1200.

Eating is still a turbulent experience, but I am doing my best.

This was one of the good days: blackened snapper and scallops.

I have no idea what next month will bring, but I plan to blog about it and other things. Thanks again for sticking with me and reading my rambles. Stay safe, please.

Forty-Two.

The remainder of March in pictures

Rare day in contact lenses

I like to try new sodas if I run across them.
I think this one was at Publix Supermarket.

I bought a granny gown! It's comfy.
(I was originally looking for a bathrobe.)

I attended a book sale to benefit the library.
Five bucks for the whole lot! I love a good deal.

I hosted St. Patrick's Day festivities at my apartment.
My brother, sis in law, and her mother joined me for dinner.
Unfortunately, I forgot to take photos of the dinner, ha!
But here's the bread. AHHHH THE BREAD!

Here's a closeup. :-)

My stepdad took me to lunch on my birthday.
Everything on this plate is diet-forbidden except the mushrooms.
I was bad. So, so bad.

So, so, so bad. :-)

I could knock somebody out with this thing, ha.
I ran out of Old Bay, so I bought a larger container.
All cooks should have Old Bay in their pantry.

My brother gifted me with a Sam's Club membership so I could
start buying seafood, healthy snacks, and drinks in discount bulk.

I appreciate my stepdad for helping me out while I was on the walker in spite of his own physical troubles. He could use some well wishes. It's concerning.

And now, some food I made:

Bayley's West Indies Salad (Crab Ceviche)

Crunchy Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Crab Stuffed Mushrooms

Asian Shrimp Roll

Cajun Shrimp, Dirty Rice, Carrots

I'm about 75/25 pescetarian right now. Once I eat the last few meatballs from my freezer, and make a ham and cheese quiche, my kitchen will be fully pescetarian. I still try to digest other meats sometimes, but it's not going well. I'll keep trying, but I intend to eventually be 80/20 pescetarian, if not 90/10, for health reasons.

I never did write about internal medicine clinic. I'll get to that on the medical blog soon, and post the link here when I do. Renal clinic is also in 2 weeks.

Talk to you in April.

Thanks Bob (and everyone who wished me a nice day)

The Big 4-0!

Well, it wasn't easy, but I made it! As I write this very sentence, the clock struck 9:29 A.M., and I have been an official member of society for forty years.

Mind you, I'm writing this in between Zofran-induced naps. I've been really sick this week, and this year, for that matter. If I want to be super honest, as ridiculous as it may sound, the last 30 years have been downright difficult. But I'm here, and that's a testament to my determination. I am usually hard on myself, but today, I acknowledge that I am a fiery, tenacious beast. Hear me roar, albeit, softly.

I've been thinking for awhile what I would write about today. I don't particularly feel like sitting here blogging in my current condition, but ninjas gonna ninj, so here I am.

When I was a kid, I remember a relative having a complete meltdown over turning the big 4-0, citing that she didn't want to "start looking old". My response to my mother later was that I hope I don't feel that way when I turn 40; I want to be grateful I made it that far. She agreed, and to her credit, was genuinely upbeat when her own 40th birthday arrived.

The truth is, I don't really like being a part of this chaotic world, but I AM glad I made it this far and I want to keep living as long as possible. The fact that I drove my miserable barfing backside to the unhappiest place on Earth - the emergency room - this week is proof enough that I'm not looking to croak anytime soon. I'm very matter-of-fact about my existence, and pretty much everything else. I don't have a problem saying that I'm in a lot of pain and that things suck more often than not, but that I'm thankful for whatever good I encounter in life and I'm doing the best I can to be a part of that good in return. I don't know how anyone can ask anymore of me than that.

I figured there is no sense in reflecting on four decades of illnesses, failures, or limitations. There are plenty, but they're going on the back burner in favor of the following gratitude:

• I kept my promise to my childhood self. I made it to 40, I don't care if I look old, and I'm not having a meltdown.
• I live in a country that is deeply flawed, but it allows me to make most of my own life choices.
• I am responsible for myself, and no one else. I wish I could be a real help to hurting kids, but I am so so so relieved that I didn't have children. These horrible genes die with me, baby.
• In spite of my anxious introversion, I have friends and family who care about me.
• With bravery and familial support, I made one of my dreams happen when I ran off to Florida and became a Certified Bob Ross Instructor. It's the craziest and coolest thing I've ever done, and it is the only moment in my life that I would rewind and live again if I could.
• Laughing till I hurt over stupid things on social media.
• Not counting neighbors who share a building with me, I finally reside alone. I love being alone more than I can express, and I could not be more thankful for any independence I have in my condition.
• On days I'm able to drive, I have a vehicle that gets me where I need to go.
• I'm not starving and I have a roof over my head.
• Thank you to the people who took my condition seriously and kept trying to figure it out until I had an answer and treatment options. We won't talk about the many who didn't.
• I may be the weird Aunt, but at least I'm an Aunt, lol. Those babies own my heart.
• I appreciate every person who opened their home to me over 25 years when times were hard or for any other reason.
• My students were the best. I'll never forget everything they did for me.
• After years of wishing and what-ifing, I went to college and studied art for a year. It was so hard, it nearly killed me. And even though I am not an artist today, it was still worth it.
• I don't envy a single person I know. If you're happy, that's fantastic. Congrats! But I don't want your possessions, your relationships, or any other facet of your life. I have zero interest. It's all yours!
• Empathy is both a blessing and a curse, but today, I'm glad it's a prominent part of my soul and I'm glad others have shown it to me as well.
• Happy Birthdays from all over the world every year.
• Being more educated than my degree (or lack thereof) implies. I have OCD and the World Wide Web to thank for that. No one can take what I've learned away from me.
• Celibacy is fabulous, and I couldn't care less who doesn't agree. The end!

OK, one more thing: you all put up with me. I mean it...God bless ya.

Sincerely,
Your Favorite Zofran Zombie Ninja Blogger

39 @ 9:29

Well, I'm in the home stretch to the big 4-0. Let's see if I can get there.