Diving Into Books

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I had a goal of reading all of the books in my possession, and I also downloaded a ton of classic books from Project Gutenberg. In addition to that, I have the Hoopla and Overdrive/Libby apps so I can borrow ebooks and audiobooks from libraries. Thankfully, I have access to my local library as well as my family's library in Louisiana, so what I can't find at one, I can usually find at the other. It has worked out great, and I have read 30 books in 8 weeks.

I'm going to be talking about some of them here, or at the very least, list the ones I've read.

But before I go any further, here's my Goodreads account. If you happen to be on there, feel free to friend me to follow my progress.

What I've read since November:

The Shack

I recommend reading the author's interview/commentary after reading or listening to the book. It helps to explain some things. I thought it was ok, although I dozed through part of it. I am sure it made a great movie.

A Christmas Carol

I read it on Christmas Eve.

The Magician's Nephew

Who knew there was a prequel that described the creation of Narnia and the wardrobe? Apparently everyone but me. It was good.

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

I love this story and it feels different now that I know the back story. I'll read the rest of the series soon. (I did watch the movies already).

For One More Day

Plenty of crying, just like the last Mitch Albom book I read.

Turtles All The Way Down

Absolutely fantastic book that I recommend to everyone. Everyone. Read it.

Sherlock Holmes: A Baker Street Dozen

Doyle was racist/prejudiced to a disgusting degree. That aside, I've always liked Sherlock and Watson. Hound of the Baskervilles is still my favorite after all of these years.

Marjorie's Three Gifts

The Secret Lives of Introverts

Much validation found here.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Nature

Idealistic nonsense. He writes pretty sometimes, but there's little substance.

Doctor Who and the Creature From The Pit

Heart and Brain

Heart and Brain: Gut Instincts

Heart and Brain is my favorite comic.

Eat, Pray, Love

I could say so many things about this book, but I won't ramble on. I think it's good that she finally became honest with herself about who she was, and made an effort to do something about it. I don't know whether or not she actually changed in the long run, but her journey was interesting enough to carry me through to the end. I appreciated her honesty in spite of not relating to her needs. I think she was lucky to have been given the opportunity to travel the world and write about it.

Murder On The Orient Express

Boring and racist. I stopped listening an hour in.

Emotional Intelligence

"In a 1985 study, blah blah blah..." over and over. Zzzzz. Disappointing.

Assaulted Caramel

Rated G and a fun read. I'll look for the rest of her books.

A Bear Called Paddington

I finally know who Paddington is.

The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life

Minimalism: Essential Essays

I'm studying minimalism, as per my 2018 goal.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Sad and memorable.

Creative Journal Writing

You'd think I would have loved this, but I felt that much of it didn't apply to me. Maybe I'll use some of the writing prompts someday, but otherwise, it wasn't terribly useful.

Astrophysics for People In a Hurry

Meh, this wasn't as good as I had hoped it would be. He's kind of condescending. I felt the same way about Douglas Adams, so maybe it's an atheist thing. I think it's entirely possible to be atheistic without being an ass about it, but some people clearly didn't get the memo.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

This lady is overboard, but she has used her obsession to her advantage. Overall, I think her efforts are very successful.

How We Eat With Our Eyes and Think With Our Stomachs

This was a long audiobook and somewhat forgettable, although I will probably buy small red plates someday to test one of their theories.

Anne of Green Gables

I know very few people who don't love Anne by the end of the book. I am no exception. I thought she was a bit ridiculous in the beginning. By the end, I was crying and looking for the TV show.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The grammar is seriously lacking in the first book, but this stuff is legendary. I loved the movies, even the ones that made me mad. I'm now on book 4. I'm reading the ebooks as well as listening to the audiobooks (which are very well done). HP fan 4 life.

In Progress:

Anam Cara

Fed, White, and Blue

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

The Golden Compass

P.S. - I don't get paid for anything I share here, ever.

New Year's Eve, 2017 Resolutions Review, and Other Thoughts

My 2017 Goals:

1. Learn to play the tin whistle

This is the one thing I failed miserably at. I've already explained why in another post.

2. Read all books and comics in my possession

ALMOST! I read all comics and most of my books. What I have left:

In progress:

Anam Cara by John O'Donohue

Fed, White, and Blue by Simon Majumdar

On the shelf:

Song of the White Swan by Aleta Boudreaux

Triorion: Awakening by L.J. Hachmeister

I read a ton in 2017. I'm proud of that, because although I'm an advanced reader, there are several factors (poor eyesight, migraine disorder with auras, and brain fog/ADD) that prevent me from enjoying it much. I'll talk about books (and audiobooks!) in further detail later.

3. Continue to declutter

While I admit anxiety and depression drove me to dive into some of these tasks, I feel that I've turned my art supply/storage room around. It wasn't awful, but I had stuff that needed dealing with, and I'm glad I finally tackled it. I gave a lot of things to the local homeless shelter thrift store, a little to relatives, and organized the rest.

4. Renovate Mac, backup files, and prepare for new system

Done! My fantastic friend Joanna gave me her old laptop and tablet because she wasn't using them. I love both and use them daily. What a gift! Bessie the MacBook, now the ripe old age of 8, has been downgraded to a storage facility. The Mac was an awesome system and well worth the discounted price I paid for it back when I was a teacher and student.

5. Organize and knock out art charity projects in progress 

Once again, I completed a piece for Twitter Art Exhibit and sent it to England. This coming month, I'll complete a new project for TAE and send it to Canberra, Australia. I always love being a part of this.

I had two other pieces and attempted to raise funds for a cancer charity in a more private manner, but no one was interested.

6. Tighten social media and continue to reduce public presence

This is the first thing I addressed on the list. I experimented with a name change, locked down some accounts, deleted others, and renovated one or two. I wiped out friend lists and started over. I installed an app called FB Purity, and shut down my news feed. Most of the process went better than I thought it would, although I eventually returned to my real name on Facebook. I'm still public in a couple of places (like here, obviously), but I am now in friends-only mode elsewhere. Even those folks can't see everything, but it's not an issue. I'm content overall with my decisions.

7. Take a watercolor painting class

I researched this for a long time, and finally chose Art Tutor, an art instruction company based in Liverpool, U.K. They have free tutorials, as well as very (I mean VERY!) affordable courses that cost little more than a lunch date. The content is thorough, and once you own it, it is download-able for offline use and yours forever. And let's face it - their fabulous "across the pond" accents make me smile. :-)

8. Figure out MawMaw’s seafood gumbo

I am so happy that I finally accomplished this. Gumbo is important in my Creole-Cajun family, and I miss my MawMaw and her awesome food. (Side note: I also nailed her roast beef and gravy.)

~

While I completed most of my goals, this year was pretty rocky. I lost three loved ones, battled systemic disease to little avail, and existed in a constant state of anxiety, pain, and exhaustion. The sadness has been overwhelming at times. 2017 was supposed to be a year of "allowance", a word I chose and wanted to embrace. However, it was more a time of analysis, devastation, and aggravation. As always, I hope the upcoming year will be better. In spite of the cesspool of current events. In spite of my pain and many ailments. In spite of myself.

If it wasn't obvious, I'm a list fiend. I'm forever seeking something to look forward to, as well as something to keep me productive.

Thus, my 2018 goals are as follows:

1. Stick to the diet most ideal for my systemic disease.
2. Read more and write more, with frequent updates.
3. Study minimalism and document my ongoing effort.
4. Sort all paperwork for storing or shredding.
5. Spend less idle time on the cray-cray interwebs.
6. Either utilize art supplies, or get rid of them (yikes).
7. Find effective methods for managing stress episodes.

As always, I'll spend some time explaining each goal in detail at a later date. May 2018 be a safer, healthier, happier year for us all.

2017 Goal: MawMaw's Gumbo

If you've been following long enough, you know one of my goals for the year was to nail my late MawMaw's seafood gumbo. I decided today would be the day. You should see my kitchen right now...total carnage...but the gumbo is darn close to MawMaw's, and may very well be spot on tomorrow after the flavors mesh a little more. I'm happy to finally cross this off of my bucket list.

I miss you MawMaw, and I hope my attempt made you smile.

2017 Goal Update (April)

So you don't have to click on another page, here's a screenshot of the list:

#3

I've continued to declutter my apartment. This piece of crap bookcase from Walmart decided to help by collapsing in one fell swoop. It's torn up and too heavy to hang as wall shelves, so in the dumpster it went. Take it from me, save $40 and your sanity and go buy furniture somewhere else.

As for actual decluttering, I'm making progress. It's not really that bad, but I tend to hang onto things, especially paper things like receipts, and they add up. I'll post more pics later.

 #4

I ran out of room on the Mac, so I finally took the time to deal with it. I zipped thousands of photos and deleted thousands of files, in fact, I have 66 GB of space again (which I will proceed to fill with episodes of Doctor Who, probably).

It is a dinosaur...almost 8 years old...but it has been a great system. Thanks for hanging in there, Bessie Mac.

#7

I've been watching a lot of watercolor tutorials online, and I'll eventually sit down and participate in a free course. I'll post pics here when I do.

#1

Sad fact: I don't understand the tin whistle. I move my fingers and blow into the thing, and all notes sound the same. I'm obviously doing something wrong. I'll talk to a variety of music professionals about this at a later date. YouTube hasn't been helpful thus far, but I'll continue to browse there as well. Although my oxygen is almost always in normal range, I don't breathe that easily. It takes more effort than it should, and at times it's painful. This goal isn't a priority for that reason, but I intend to pursue it at some point before the end of year.

Numbers 2 and 5 are in progress. Technically, #3 still is too. I completed #6 at the beginning of the year, as you may have read in a previous post. #8 will be attempted again soon. Even though a shop less than a mile from my apartment sells gumbo that tastes like my late MawMaw's gumbo, I'm determined to figure out the exact balance of flavors for myself. My gumbo is good, but it's not hers. Hers is the goal.

Enjoy the rest of your month, readers.

A few extra goals, and the word of the year

I don't usually do a "word of the year", but I have one on my mind, so why not?

It was going to be "persevere", but after two conversations with the folks at the sandwich shop next door, I've decided a more appropriate word is "allow".

Many of us are too hard on ourselves. If I had a superhero name, it would be The Overanalyzer. I look at numbers and societal norms, and I try to fit in. It's a bad idea, and a futile one at that. I'm not normal, and my circumstances aren't normal. Normal is based on the majority's accepted ideals, but I have to accept the fact that I am not in the majority. I have to set my own ideals, based on my life, no matter what others think of me. It's not their existence and not their business.

In my immensely-exhausted state, I have managed to make a few plans that I did not include in my list of annual goals. They're not very interesting, but I'm going to talk about them anyway.

I plan to cook (and eat) only as necessary.

My abilities are limited, to say the least. Sometimes, I spend too much time cooking (and in result, cleaning the kitchen), which ultimately makes me too tired and weak to do anything else. Bulk cooking soup for the freezer helps, and Schwan's has been beneficial to an extent. I plan to continue to do that during the cooler months, but it's not an ideal thing to do year-round in a tropical climate (storms = power loss = food loss). I want to make life easier with high-protein sandwiches, drinks, salads, and other foods that don't require a lot of effort. I'm not able to eat as much as I used to, so I'm going to eat smaller. I want to get away from "combo" meals when I go out, and I'm trying to get out of the mindset that a balanced meal is necessary. I don't have to follow guidelines for consuming food - meat, grains, dairy, vegetables, etc. - that are set for a typical adult. If I want to buy a rotisserie chicken and spend the day eating it, and nothing else, I am allowed to do that. If I want to eat a bowl of green beans, and nothing else, I am allowed to do that. If I want to eat peanut butter with a spoon out of the jar, I am allowed to do that. If I want to shovel in a handful of chocolate chips and call it a meal, I am allowed to do that.

I've had enough of the metaphorical flashing sign that demands that I eat a certain number of calories (and protein, and sugar, and fiber, etc.) per day. If I'm not dying of obesity, anorexia, or other acute food-related medical condition, do not intervene. That's me, talking to me. That's also me talking to anyone who says I'm wrong unless I do things the way they think I should. I told the sandwich shop manager today "We need to allow ourselves to live and stop being so hard on ourselves about everything. We only get one life."

Interestingly, my bathroom scale bit the dust on New Year's Eve. At first I was like NOOOOOO but then I said to myself "Self, this is a great opportunity to not replace the battery. It's doing you no favors anyway." That said, I will allow myself to stop looking at the scale. I still see doctors 4 to 6 times a year, and they always weigh me (whether I like it or not). Therefore, I won't be completely in the dark. I think about my weight too much, and I feel that I'll be better off mentally and emotionally if I cut myself a little slack.

I plan to sleep more, no matter when, where, how, and so forth.

I never, and I mean NEVER sleep at night. Sleep happens, if at all, during the average person's awake time. People love to bring this up to me, as if I wasn't aware, and as if I haven't strove for typical human slumber. Trust me, I KNOW. This has been a lifelong problem, and you pointing it out is not a solution. If the only time my body rests is during the day, so be it. This is my #1 battle in life, and I'm going to fight for it. For the sake of all that is right and good in the world, just let me rest, whatever it takes. I'm often my own enemy, but that's over. I will stop trying to fit into the societal norm of being up and around during the hours of blah blah and sleeping during the hours of whatever. I am tired of feeling guilty for lying in bed trying to sleep when everyone else is being productive. Everyone else doesn't have systemic disease. Everyone else doesn't have weak, failing muscles. Everyone else doesn't feel the non-stop pain or have to deal with debilitating, life-threatening symptoms on a regular basis. Everyone else would be doing the same if they never slept at night, and I wouldn't judge them for it. I've been alive 39 years, and I'm lucky I've made it this far. I will allow myself all of the rest that my broken body requires to make it through that annoying part of the day called "awake", no matter how abnormal my schedule becomes.

I plan to budget, somehow, without fear and obsession.

I am a heavy-duty financial planner. I am determined to know where every dollar goes, and I have done so since I was a teen. That's a great thing, and I highly recommend it for anyone with an income, but I let it get to me to the point of anxiety and depression. I run out of money before the end of every month, and that's a challenging way to live. It's hard not to panic and meltdown. I think about what I shouldn't have spent money on. I beat myself up and try to find ways to avoid it the next month. I don't care for shopping. I don't have many possessions. I've done things like reschedule doc appointments and try to force myself into an unreasonable grocery allowance, and I still have no money by the end of the month. I have to allow myself to face the facts and remember that worrying isn't going to solve anything. I have to eat. I have to go to the doctor. I have to have transportation. I have to pay for insurance and keep the power on and buy toilet paper. I'm really good with money, but the fact of the matter is my income is too meager to not run out. It's just reality. While prioritizing my budget and basic necessities, I must also allow myself to exist in the real world as much as possible. That means occasionally participating in a pot luck, or attending a cheap local event with my walker in tow, or visiting relatives, or watching a movie with friends once a year. There's nothing wrong with living. It would be of more concern if I didn't try to do these things.

In a nutshell, I need to allow myself to do all things in the way it suits my survival and well-being, without regard to expectations or judgment.

Wish me luck.

Dear 2016

May you fall off of a cliff into a pool of lava.

No love,
Me

Credit: The Awkward Yeti

Enough said, am I right? Let's just move on to my annual resolutions review.

2016 Goals:

*FINISH THAT DANG NOVEL. I DID IT! I finally spit out a rough draft, and I am ready for the long revision process. I can't wait to bring The Children of Mossy Hollow officially to life in a few years.
*Cook one dish out of every cookbook I own. FAIL! Not only did I not do this, I have no excuse for not doing this. I flat out forgot. Booooo!
*Do not bring Coca-Cola into the house! Pasta either! You guys, I did so well for 7+ months. Sadly, I fell off of the wagon in late summer.
*Complete all art projects currently in progress. I didn't complete all projects in progress, but here are a few pics of what I did manage:

Postcard in progress for Twitter Art Exhibit

(It was completed and sent to NYC for charity)

Nutella!

Psychedelic Jellyfish

Ink and Resin Pendants

Northern Night Sky

Goomba

Zebra panel in progress

Anjou Pear

The Kandinsky-inspired work I promised

I have a lot more in the works. I'll share pics soon.

*Be less wasteful and more productive with my time. YES! I renovated much of my apartment, wrote like crazy, read a lot, and made new friends. I really feel like I accomplished this. Yay!
*For the love of God...achieve goal weight already. Not quite. I have lost weight, but I haven't reached the weight I would like to be yet. I do hope to get there in 2017, but we'll see. I am close, though! I'm weary of making it a resolution, so it's not going on next year's list.

Lagniappe:

Favorite book of 2016: How To Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
Favorite blog of 2016: Heart and Brain by The Awkward Yeti (Nick Seluk)
Favorite album of 2016: Gosh, I'm not sure I have one. I've really enjoyed Pandora Radio this year, especially the instrumental stations. I like The Piano Guys, David Lanz, and of course an old favorite of mine - Richard Clayderman. I also listened to Dire Straits Radio a great deal.
Favorite show/movie of 2016: Star Wars Rogue One, of course. It was fantastic. This is an oldie for sure, but I also loved seeing Labyrinth on the big screen. It was my first time watching the movie.
Favorite moment of 2016: Meh. I'm going to have to say it's a tie between visiting my nieces in January for Sadie's 1st birthday, and my niece Jo visiting me at Christmas.

In spite of my unbelievable exhaustion, I've made a longer list for the new year.

Goals:

~ Learn to play the Irish tin whistle via YouTube tutorials
~ Read all books and comics in my possession (not including textbooks)
~ Continue to declutter: unpack what needs to be unpacked, pack what needs to be packed, and get rid of what’s not being used
~ Renovate my 7 year old computer, backup all files, and prepare for a new inexpensive replacement because poor BessieMac is about to croak
~ Organize and knock out all art projects in progress
~ Tighten social media and reduce public presence
~ Take a watercolor painting class if health permits (this may have to take place online from my bed...which is ok)
~ Figure out my late MawMaw’s seafood gumbo recipe


May 2017 be a kinder, more peaceful year.