Since I can’t seem to bring myself to blog anymore often, I will try to check in at least once a month.
A lot of annoying things are going on with my health, but I go back to the dentist on Tuesday and internal medicine in the middle of October. My appointment with neurology in Birmingham will be postponed. I haven’t found a new therapist, and I don’t think I care. There is no cure for anything I have. I don’t expect a conversation to change that.
The new Facebook account is already on my last nerve, but I’m trying to stay so that I don’t lose my friends who don’t want to move elsewhere. The majority of my social media time is on Twitter. As always, beware my unfiltered thoughts if you visit. I don’t cater to anyone there, and that’s that.
My bro and his family are planning to move home. That will change my life in a pretty big way if that happens, because my nieces and nephew will be here. At the moment I’m just waiting to see when and where and how this is going to come about. Despite how much I care, I honestly hate this. I wish Kayla was still here so they could live the life they built near D.C. and not have to start over in this state, which is far from ideal in regards to raising girls into women. But it’s not my business, and I will just have to hope for the best.
Financially I’m exhausted, as usual. I’m grateful I’m not on the street, but living on SSI is hard. My microwave died and I can’t afford another one. I can go to the fuel station and fill up the car, or I can get an oil change. Not both. Do I buy food today or do I buy my medical supplements? If I pay the dentist, I will have to sit home and eat tomato soup for the next three weeks. Which utility bill can I put off? None of them. I’m never late on bills, even if I suffer.
I’ve run into some interesting characters since connecting with certain groups on social media. Someone called me a “demi-dipshyt” the other day, and I laughed a lot. Yeah, I’m Demisexual. I couldn’t care less what anybody thinks of that, least of all some random nobody. I made fun of them, and they went away. Clowns are everywhere. I still see too much news, and the evil that exists never fails to shock me. If I were God, I would have already burned this whole place to the ground.
Inspections galore in my apartment complex. I’m trying to keep a handle on the condition of my place. Management always has no problem at all with my apartment so it’s just me putting pressure on myself. Sometimes I want to just throw everything away, but that’s my anxiety at work, and I know to ignore it because it’s not rational. I’m just weak and in too much pain to deal with everything. There is nothing normal about the way I exist, and that’s not my fault. I just have to keep doing the best I can.
