In a recent self-analysis, I decided to make a list of things I can do to make my life better and/or more disciplined. I have a long way to go with most of them, but here's what I've done so far:
I read at least one article per day. These are often from Psychology Today, but I occasionally run across articles on other sites that are worth reading and sharing. I mostly post them on Twitter as retweets. The Psych nerd in me thrives on attempting to understand people's thoughts and actions, and of course it's most important to consider my own. I get very frustrated with stigma surrounding the human condition, and would like to see ableism and other misjudgments defeated in my lifetime. I won't hold my breath, but I will speak out or share a helpful post when I feel the need to. The goal is to educate, not attack, but Heaven knows I am a work in progress, and I need continued education too! Thanks for understanding, if you're willing to. Never stop learning, friends.
(I will always be devastated that I wasn't able to achieve my college and career goals as an Educational Psychologist. Just a side note.)
I am working on the blogs. Bear with me as changes are made. You may very well not notice a difference anyway.
I'm trying to accept that sleep is going to find me at unconventional times, due to the fact that I am always sick and my body does not operate by a schedule. I was diagnosed several years ago with chronic insomnia, central sleep apnea, and sleep deprivation. The CPAP did not work, so I'm existing the best I know how like this. It is HARD. True sleep deprivation is a nightmare, and it unfortunately not only affects my physical health, but it is detrimental to my mental health as well. It triggers anxiety and suicidal ideation, so needless to say, it can make life pretty difficult. I'm doing my best to make restful sleep my #1 priority, as I acknowledge that it is vital to my survival in multiple ways.
The back brace does help sometimes. I'm trying to remember to put it on more often.
I've learned approximately 25 words in Spanish, so I'm halfway to that goal.
I canceled my membership to the Circle I mentioned a while back. I was quickly overwhelmed with the content, ended up behind, and it grew so immensely that it became dramatic. People were complaining and challenging each other, attacking the Doc's posts, and I found myself getting defensive as well (but never rude). Eventually, she made a hyper-spiritual statement about grace that infuriated masses of members, and I immediately canceled. It truly was inappropriate...I wish she hadn't said it. She did end up deleting her statement, but the damage was done. I still follow the public posts, and I appreciate how much I learned in the eight months that I was involved. I was thanked for being a founding member, and encountered no opposition.
I look forward to returning to my local therapist whenever the pandemic ends (I never dumped her, just haven't gone because of COVID). I fully recognize the need to continue therapy, and I will elaborate on some of the things I've discovered and am dealing with in a future post.
I've got work to do to be the best version of myself, but I am determined.
