Another month has passed in this new, weird world.

The end of April is here. Welcome to strawberry season!

Gorgeous! *smooch*

I got those at a nearby outdoor farmer's market, along with a lot of other lovely produce. I enjoyed everything, but I gotta say I really suffered for it. Gastroparesis hates fiber; it's the #1 enemy. I'm supposed to be on a "soft" diet of mashed potatoes, soup broth, crackers, etc. And I do comply sometimes, especially when I can't handle anything else. But I push the limits, and because I'm a sassy woman, sometimes I say to heck with it all and eat what I want. That's when salad and fruit and stir-frys happen. Or club sandwiches. Or Mexican food. Or pizza. It's pretty rare these days, but I refuse to give it up completely while my body is still hanging in there. Hopefully I'll continue to be able to digest some foods, albeit, with the assistance of several medications.

Sigh. Life is exhausting.

Shrimp and cheesy rice

(More food pics on my Instagram @ ugottafriend)

People have asked (especially on AskFM...yeah, I'm still there) how my life has changed from the pandemic. The answer is "very little". I can't reasonably call myself lucky for not being able to work, and thus not being frequently exposed, but at the moment, being home is an advantage for the sole reason that it's safer. I'm sure that goes without saying. I will say that grocery shopping is pretty stressful, and I've made an effort not to do it very often, but I finally had to go yesterday to stock up. I had run out of laundry detergent (I'm still having to use a shared laundromat, so that's stressful too), desperately needed cleaning supplies, and my fridge was nearly empty due to no condiments. I put on one of my masks, and got it done.

One thing that I have not run out of throughout all of this is toilet paper. It has been so strange to see the shelves empty of TP, of all things. I'm not sure I understand the mania over this one item. I always buy it in bulk, though, so I'm actually good through May!

The grocery store that I shop at had a hand-washing station set up, so that was nice. The manager was mopping the floor, everyone was wearing a mask, and sanitizing wipes were available. I happen to think hand sanitizer isn't as helpful as people think it is, but I acknowledge that it's better than nothing right now. 

Something else that has changed is that some of the restaurants in my area have shut down. I'll miss the occasional wonton soup and cheese curds. Maybe they'll find their way back into business someday. A few of the remaining restaurants are a hot mess trying to figure out how to operate curbside. You can definitely tell who's cut out for it, and who is not. I've gone out a few times for meals, and my experiences have ranged from smooth to absolute train wreck. I'm mostly staying home, cooking one meal a day, snacking, and doing some intermittent fasting. Somehow, I've lost about 8 pounds. I still have plenty more to lose, but I'm trying not to overthink that.

Ordering online has been interesting. A lot of things are not available at this time while the focus is on COVID-related materials and basic necessities. Yet, those necessities are sold out. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I did finally receive two birthday gifts on Tuesday that had been delayed five weeks.

The gifts:

Someone sent British candy from Northern Ireland!

It was melted all to heck! But it's in the fridge now.

I eat chocolate very slowly, so these will last months.

I can finally retire my 12 year old blender.

God rest its soul. I'll be using this new one soon.

For those wondering if I received a stimulus check, no. As of today, I have not. They're telling us (us meaning social security recipients) that we'll receive a supplement to our regular social security income sometime in May. We are last on the list of people who will get something. I suppose that is due to the IRS making tax payers a priority, which is understandable. (I do pay some taxes, but not federal, since I'm disabled and my income is not officially counted. It's strictly survival funds.) At any rate, I guess I'll eventually be issued a check. I figure I'll use it to get out of debt, even though it'll leave me with nothing extra to live on (ok maybe $30, if I'm doing the math right). We'll see.

I can't decide if this 3 A.M. selfie makes me look 32, 42, or 52. LOL

I'm the middle one, but most of y'all already knew that. I feel older, of course.

I'll give a long medical update eventually. I've been putting it off, but I know I need to keep talking about it. I don't believe my voice is needed anymore, since there is so much advocacy now, but I'll think about how to proceed with my blog(s) over the next couple of months, and let y'all know.

Thanks for being here, and please continue to be safe. Let's get through May successfully.

What's Going On: Mid-April

Pardon my plainness, but you know me by now.

I'm not a beauty queen. Never will be.

I had to go to the post office today, thus a mask.

Funny coincidence, I found that mask in the kitchen drawer.

I had received it as a sample in the mail in 2018.

I looked it up, and the company doesn't even exist anymore.

What luck, huh? It's more comfortable than my cloth masks.

I received my order from Sizzlefish.

I am very impressed so far! Yay!

It has been another rough week.

I don't really know what to say.

At least other INFJs understand.

I've been trying to keep myself distracted.

I found Memrise, and it is helping me learn Spanish.

This email made me very happy.

I'm amazed that Charity Water keeps such close track of donations that they can tell me when and how my $$ are being spent. It has a great rating for a reason.

April in the time of COVID-19

I modified a popular April Fools meme.

Gotta have a laugh sometimes.

I'm guessing everyone else in the U.S. received this too?

Basically.

In all seriousness, I do (to quote the internet) "Stay The F Home" most of the time, and I have masks in the event that I need to go to the grocery store for something. I'm trying to use everything in my freezer and pantry before stocking up again. I ordered a variety of fish from Sizzlefish, which arrives tomorrow, so I'll be good for a couple of weeks. I'll give a review of their service soon.

I also ordered cashew milk from Elmhurst (dot com).

It's expensive, but I'm happy with it. I'm trying to buy less milk.

I sound like a broken record, but the diet is rocky.

My digestive system is a beast, 

and it's hard to have any hope of it improving.

Some days, I do try to eat like a normal person.

Some days are still like this.

In other news, I forgot to mention that I achieved

my goal on Pokemon GO a month ago.

Thanks to all who helped with this distraction.

I went to Jackson a year ago today, to see my Nephrologist. It was a bad drive. I was sick on the way up there, and got rained on, and by the time I arrived I looked and felt a mess. The appointment didn't go well, although everyone was kind. I felt defeated, and wished I hadn't gone. Then I received an outrageous bill for labs, I argued with the billing department, and I haven't been back since. I miss having a doctor who wants to help me, or at least acted like it. He was nice, and despite the fact that I wanted to know more about him (which is irrelevant), realistically I just need my doctor. He's no longer accessible since the facility doesn't care about out-of-state patients who don't have Mississippi insurance. That's not his fault, nor is it mine. It's just the way our terrible system is here in the U.S. People with rare diseases suffer not only from their conditions, but from a lack of adequate care unless they get lucky enough to find someone in their neighborhood who wants to treat them. Those of us who are poor and rural and have volatile chronic diseases are royally screwed.

It's hard to have any hope. All I can do is strive to survive, one day at a time.

I hope everyone is doing ok in the midst of this worldwide tragedy. Laugh, cry, do whatever you have to do to cope, as long as you're not putting anyone at risk. Be mindful, "Stay The F Home" if you can, and if you can't, I wish you and yours utmost safety.

This will pass.