If you’ve followed my social media long enough, you know some things have happened to me recently that I haven’t been able to fully disclose. This is my blog, so I am willing to give more information here so that there is a record. I reserve the right to hide or remove this post if it becomes necessary.
I was raised in an unconventional home. One of the relatives who raised me through my teen years is still living, and he considered me his daughter. He has special needs, and has a difficult time grasping the concept of things such as age, time frames, and laws. I have a good reason for bringing that up. Read on.
I was listed as his next of kin, so that when he passes, I would be the first notified and be able to secure the house and handle all of his finances and end-of-life matters (something I’m more than qualified to do, being a former paralegal). He wrote a Will and filed with his attorney. I haven’t seen it, and haven’t asked to see it, but I knew through our conversations that my brother and I would receive an inheritance. My portion would have to go into a Trust account run by my brother to take care of whichever needs soc. security doesn’t cover for the remainder of my life, as well as my eventual burial in our family cemetery.
Then that relative met a new teller at his bank, a college-aged woman who he thought was beautiful. He being the fearless almost-70-year-old he is, made it known to her that he thought so. The ethical thing to do, at least in my mind, is to simply say thanks for the compliment and move on. She didn’t do that. She contacted him outside of business, and began a “relationship" over the phone. She began sending him angelic Snapchat photos, which he framed and displayed. He doesn’t know how to use a computer, and doesn’t have a clue what Snapchat is, so the fact that this beautiful woman was sparkling and wearing a fake floral halo in these photos awed him.
He started writing love letters. The ethical thing to do, at least in my mind, is to let this elderly man know that he had the wrong idea, and kindly back off. She didn’t do that. She began sending him gifts. One gift, which I saw with my own eyes, was a blanket that was custom made with not only photos of herself, but one of his love letters to her. This young woman photocopied the love letter and created a collage, and now he wraps himself in a blanket of his own love letter to the 20+ year old bank teller. You get the picture. She manipulated him into falling for her.
And fall he did.
He said he was behind on bills and took out a loan at their bank. Shortly after, he called to inform me that he has changed everything. His life insurance. His Will. Even his next of kin. It’s all her now. His new “best friend” is now Executor of his Will, partial Beneficiary, and next of kin. He told me that in the event of his death, I would no longer be the first one informed. She will, and it is up to her to call his entire family, including his children, to inform us of his passing. He also stated that we’re not allowed in his house until the 20 year old bank teller gives it to the beneficiary. If that’s not bizarre enough, here’s the kicker: she doesn’t know us, and we don’t know her. We’ve never met, and she has never made any effort to meet anyone in his family, nor has he attempted to introduce her to any of us. The only reason I know her name at all is because I pried it out of him after months of him not wanting to reveal that he loved a woman young enough to be his granddaughter. At any rate, she is now Executor, and according to him, she promised to “pay for everything”, take care of his final wishes, and give my brother and me our share. He actually trusts this 20 year old bank teller to do that - pay for his house, his funeral, handle his cremated remains, designate the house to the person he chose, and distribute buttloads of money to the rest of his family, who she has never met and never even tried. Because she “promised”, and she’s his “most beautiful precious treasure”, he believes her.
Meanwhile, she’s on social media living the single life and looking for a rich man to treat her like a Queen. No shit. Her own public Facebook page goes on and on about it. No mention of him. They have no physical relationship, so I assume that to her, it’s not really real. Yet she is taking advantage of his entire life and even his death.
Believe it or not, that’s not all.
He has been diagnosed with cancer. He called me shortly after to say he’s changing the Will again. He’s making this young woman the sole Beneficiary. He gave her personal details about my soc. security case, and she supposedly promised him that she would give me "half of the money, in cash, and not tell soc. security”.
I exploded. I yelled at him that it was not OK to give her my SS information, and that trying to make me take that much money without reporting it is fraud and that I would NEVER agree to it. He became furious and yelled “I TRUST HER!” He couldn’t care less that it was illegal. He’ll be dead, so what does it matter to him? He threw my brother and me under the bus to give a pretty young thing control over everything, believed that she would give up the house and give me tens of thousands of $$$ illegally, and he actually expected me to be OK with this. I told him to remove me from the Will, and he said he will give his money to whoever he wants, and I said it won’t be me because I don’t break the law for anybody. He gave me an ultimatum to commit fraud to receive an inheritance, I refused, and he’s angry! Not half as angry as I am, "Dad".
I had to send a cease and desist letter to the man who raised me. It’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever done. He is ordered to remove me from the Will completely, never give confidential information about me to her or anyone else again, destroy all paperwork with my SS# on it, and give anything from the house intended for me to my brother. For my own protection, I am disclaiming my inheritance and will no longer have contact with him.
So that’s it. My only chance of receiving acceptable care in the future and covering my end-of-life expenses is gone.
I don’t care about his money. If I was trying to exploit the man, I wouldn’t be living rock bottom in poverty in public housing. I’ve proven that I am not a taker, and I have no problem ending this nightmare by exiting his life altogether and leaving him with his fake girlfriend. My future is dim, but I choose integrity. I always have, and I always will.
It’s devastating, though, truly. I exist in a world where I couldn’t trust my own parents, and that’s a very hard thing to accept. I appreciate your prayers and best wishes as I deal with this incredible stress. As if I didn’t have enough of that already.
