I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

July so far (in pictures)

A gift for my stepfather

Southwest Frittata

Blueberry Shortbread Pie

No joke, an awesome friend gave me a laptop free of charge. I love it.
And not a moment too soon, as Bessie the Macbook was three keys in the grave.
She's retired on my shelf now. She had a great run of almost 8 years.

I participated in a gaming night at a great shop on the north side of Mobile, AL.
I was in a lot of pain, but I had fun and I hope to feel up to attending future events.

It is this angel's first birthday.
I feel very fortunate that I was able to spend a few hours with him.
He's my one and only nephew, and what a sweetheart he is.
He took a selfie in that last pic, haha.

I joined a rock painting group that paints rocks
and leaves them in public places for others to find.
When I'm feeling well enough to leave my home again,
I'll start dropping them around the county.

This every day. Every day.
I look and feel absolutely horrendous, and it is a daily struggle.
I am trying to function and be an occasional member of society.
I truly want to spend time with friends, family, and in the world in general
but it is hard, and frustrating, and exhausting, and not worth it sometimes.
I have been determined to get around without a power chair
but I pay the consequences of every bit of muscle activity I force on myself.
I am in more pain than I can describe, and weak, and without adequate rest,
and I know my condition will only get worse without a real solution.
I am better off than I could be, yet worse off than the world seemingly expects of me
and there isn't a thing I can do about that except remind myself and everyone else
that I did not f#@$%&# ask for this. Sorry for the language, but it's how I feel.

Last, but not least, I'm back on Instagram @ugottafriend.
Feel free to follow. I'll follow back unless you're a spam whore. :-P