I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Monday, September 12, 2016

It's Mom's Birthday

An oddity: I was cleaning the bathroom closet, and ran across a letter she had sent me in one of the drawers. There is no reason for it to have been in the bathroom closet, obviously, so it was a funny coincidence.

Mom was challenging, and her letters were unpredictable. Sometimes, they were upbeat and encouraging. Sometimes, they were a punch in the face. This one was a combination of thanks for the prayers and charismatic sermon...a bittersweet reminder of the person she had become.

I wish she had chosen a different path to healing, but it was her battle and her choice. It just hurts that the same conditions I have fought for so long are what took her life away. When she told me she was dying, she said she regretted her decision to refuse medical care (she disregarded both HKPP and cancer), but I know she was tired and wanted her pain to end.

Everybody's got something. You never really know what is going through someone's head, and I can't claim to understand why she lived and died the way she did. I just hope she's resting in peace.