Thursday, July 21, 2016

And It's Complicated















If you saw my Birthday Grub blog, I don't blame you if you were slightly (or very) horrified. That was a lot of food, but that's not the norm.

I have a difficult time eating like a regular person, at least not without big consequences. MD, CKD, GERD, and Gastroparesis do not make my relationship with food easy. I dare say it's an unconquerable battle. There's the fact that I have to avoid carbs, yet eat them to prevent Hypoglycemia. There's the sodium that I have to limit greatly without becoming Hyponatremic on three diuretics. There's the issue of wanting to eat more vegetables, but they contribute to kidney stones (of which I've had at least 40 in my lifetime, including surgery). I also have Dysguesia, which makes vegetables taste terrible to begin with, but that's another story. There are also the nightshade vegetables, which contain much needed Potassium, but by golly they also contain an ingredient that inhibits neuromuscular transmission. Epic fail. Fruit contains fructose, which triggers HKPP just as badly as glucose does, and artificial sweeteners are even worse than that - they've nearly put me in the hospital with serious paralysis. Thanks for that no-win situation, universe. Caffeine both helps and hurts, depending on what organ we're talking about. My Magnesium fluctuates just as badly as Potassium does, resulting in a wide variety of ugly symptoms that qualify as TMI (I could write a thousand words on Magnesium alone). My Phosphorus and Vitamin D are chronically low, with no resolution via diet nor supplementation - I've confirmed that nothing works, and nobody knows why. My Muscular Dystrophy diet is high protein and fat, and I've gained nearly 30 pounds as a result. I'm now borderline obese, and doctors are bringing it up. Some days, I'm too sick to eat anything substantial, so I drink protein drinks. My kidney disease and heart disease calls for - guess what - low protein and fat! That's the exact opposite of my MD diet - lucky me! I was referred to a Dietician concerning low electrolytes, who gave me quite possibly the worst advice a Dietician could ever give anybody - eat more chocolate and processed meats, and drink Coke. That was a WTF moment if I've ever had one, and a fast track to HKPP. My doctors keep telling me to eat things that I cannot safely eat, and take drugs that I cannot safely take, because they are dumbfounded by the situation and can't keep up with all of my triggers and side effects (not a real complaint, because I don't know anybody who could remember this much insanity unless they were living the life themselves). Not knowing or understanding isn't the issue, by the way. It's pretending to know and understand, or being condescending and criticizing in spite of the lack of knowledge, that is the problem. Doctors across the globe need to learn to say "I don't know, but I'll listen and try to help." I digress.

Let me get back on track. Food! It must be so nice to be able to eat and drink whatever you want without acute, life-altering side effects. If there is a heaven (I continue to believe there is, personally), let's just say I'll enjoy feasting. Because what I'm dealing with on Earth is a whole lot of BS.

It could always be worse. And I'm thankful it isn't. I'm human. I get frustrated, especially when every single day is difficult, and there is no reprieve. I don't want my daily life to be consumed by what I put into my body, nor the atmosphere that I surround myself with, but I have no choice but to obsess over it if I intend to survive and have any quality of life. I'll elaborate on the atmosphere part in another blog (same bat time...same bat channel).

At least I haven't lost my stupid sense of humor.

I'll leave you with pictures of many of the foods I eat on a regular basis. Protein galore. Hopefully this will be some kind of redemption from the gluttonous birthday bash I subjected you all to a few months ago. Enjoy.

Yellow Split Pea Soup with
extra crispy bacon

Turkey Vegetable Soup
I make so much soup.

Lots of Taco Tuesday happening,
albeit, without nightshade veggies.

Occasionally, I honor my grandmother.
It's a comfort food. I miss her.

The most incredible veggie frittata ever.
(Prior to nightshade elimination.)

French Lentils

Veggie Beef Soup
I'm making this again in a few days.

Shrimp Burrito
(Also prior to eliminating nightshades.
I don't buy flour tortillas anymore either.
P.S. - This is subject to change. LOL)

The beginnings of hummus.

Citric Acid is essential if you have kidney stones.

Kale and Collards
So bitter, but I'm trying.

A simple Hawaiian pulled pork roast
This fed six people, with leftovers.

New obsession: Turkey Tenderloin

As seen here.

And here.

No caption necessary.

I just discovered avocado smoothies
next door at the donut shop of all places.
It was great. Super high protein.

If you don't have access to this
Alabama goat cheese, I am so sorry.
It'll knock your socks off. Swoon.

Mediterranean Lentil Soup
I make this regularly.

Beeeeautiful.

I still have symptoms, even though I constantly analyze whether or not I should eat something. The thing is, I never know when even some "good" meals are going to affect me. It could be a matter of a pinch too much salt, or the carb load was too high that day, or eating slightly too much in one sitting, or not eating enough, or it may contain tryptophan, or I've had too much fiber - the list of possibilities goes on and on. As usual, I can only do the best I can.

One thing is for sure: being a foodie with systemic disease is like being in an intimate relationship - it's complicated.