Friday, April 8, 2016

Fulfilling Relationships (via Good News Network) and thoughts on boundaries

"Be open to new people and situations but trust your instincts. You never know where a new relationship might be found whether it’s a new business connection, a potential romance or a new friendship. When you open yourself up to new opportunities you give the right people the chance to meet you, but trust your instincts and verify that new people entering your life actually share your values."

"Set your own boundaries and don’t be apologetic. For your own health and sanity, it’s okay to say no or tell someone they’ve pushed you too far or asked for too much. If you know it is time to cut the cord—be bold, direct and firm. Unless you want them to hang around and play the victim, don’t fall into the trap."

This is a decent article on bringing the right people into your life and dealing with the wrong ones. I read a lot of articles like this. I think it's important to understand the psyche of relationships of all types, especially friendships in my case, to remain aware of what I and others are setting on the table.

A lot of people previously in my life had no concept of boundaries, and considered themselves attacked when I set them. They were so used to their self-made superiority and manipulative ways, they tried to make me look like the antagonist for standing up for myself. Some of them still do. They want so desperately to be the victim in the game they were playing, but little do they want to admit that it was never a two-player game. They were all by themselves in their heads, and they ran out of quarters before they even asked if I wanted to play along (answer for future reference: I don't). Oops, game over. You lose.

I'm thankful for what I've learned over the years. As hard and horrible as some of those lessons have been, I'm glad I'm finally starting to put my health, safety, and sanity first. I'm not sorry for that; I'm only sorry I didn't do so much sooner.

I have such wonderful friends, including several new friends that I've recently made, that I wouldn't trade for the world. They've taught me more than they realize, and I am better for knowing them. Without a doubt, more changes are ahead in my world...hopefully all of them good.

(Vagueblogging is therapeutic sometimes, don't you think?)