Monday, June 22, 2015

10 Years

Divorce Day Fiesta

After nearly two years of separation, private legal servants, multiple court orders, and unspeakable amounts of stress and illness leading to organ failure and surgery, my long-awaited divorce was final 10 years ago. Despite shaking so hard I could barely speak to the judge, it was one of the bravest and happiest days of my life.

If you're in an unhealthy relationship, I urge you to love yourself enough to examine the situation and make whatever decisions necessary to bring yourself and any dependents you may have out of the darkness and into a place where you are safe and sound. People love to throw the phrase "safe and sound" around, yet many don't fully grasp the concept. Look up the words and ask yourself "does this apply to me?" If it doesn't, you've got some choices to make. It may seem impossible. It may be terrifying. But for your own sake and anyone else involved, you must stand up. Even if no one else is standing.

I've been alone ever since, by choice. While I have difficult days facing a physical handicap and serious illness solo, I came to the sad realization that I always was alone in this battle, regardless of my marital status, and I wake up every day operating in "relief mode" that I not only survived such a turbulent existence, I am more free today than I have ever been in my life. FREE. Systemic disease be damned, even it can't take that away from me.

I wish you were all here to celebrate with me. I love my friends so dearly, and interestingly enough, the majority of them are married. I take pride in being a trustworthy friend to those who allow me in their lives. I wouldn't trade these people for the world (I hope you know who you are...yes, you too).

I understand my circumstances happen to be out of the ordinary, and marriage isn't easy even when things are going pretty swell. To those who are in healthy relationships, please know I am sincerely happy for you, and I hope to God you make it.