The CPAP has been overwhelmingly unsuccessful thus far. At best, it will prevent death by sleep apnea because the oxygen is being pushed into my nose, but I'm sleeping no more than I have been. In fact, I have times when I give up and take the mask off my face because I can't stand it anymore.
I've heard from plenty of people that this is common. A friend from overseas who has Periodic Paralysis and is also on a CPAP suggested I hang in there and give myself time to adjust to it, even if that means months down the road. I have no intention of quitting the thing, but it's not helping me to fall asleep or stay asleep, and I feel defeated.
I'm tired of feeling less than human. I feel like I don't have an ounce of strength or sanity left at times, yet I surprise myself by making it through another day. I don't know how I'm doing it. I'm absolutely convinced that when I do keel over someday, it will be from sleep deprivation, not muscular dystrophy.
Edit Note 3/30: I saw my doctor today. The study results showed that my breathing was compromised 79 times in the 3 hours I was asleep. We're disappointed that I'm not sleeping better on the CPAP so far, but we agreed to increase the pressure to see if that will help.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
I received a parcel post card in the mail, telling me to pick up a package at the post office in my new town. First of all, I didn't know we had a post office. Secondly, I had no clue where it would be. To Google maps I went, and I followed its directions exactly.
Is this some kind of joke?
I was informed tonight that there are two roads with the same name, and naturally I went to the wrong one. Sheesh. I'll pick up my package tomorrow.
I made the drive to one of the colleges I attended to see if I could trim down my illustration and bristol boards. I appreciate that these people still let me in the building, much less in the cutting room. Art shenanigans await!
I wore my tardis shirt while eating a biscuit.
(Don't mess with my biscuit.)
(Just kidding. I'd share my biscuit with you.)
I also wore my tardis socks and eventually changed into my fuzzy jammies.
A few birthday goodies.
I also went to the library in my hometown and ran into my stepdad of all people. He's not a selfie kinda guy, thus no pic. We chatted for a few minutes and he went on to run his errands.
I appreciate all the happy birthday wishes on Facebook. I have some really nice folks in my life and I'm grateful.
Every day is a challenge, but things could be a lot worse. I'm okay with pushing 40 because I know how lucky I am to have made it this far. I realize the average "normal" person doesn't necessarily understand that, but that's fine. I get it, and when it comes to one's own perspective, that's what matters.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Wanted to quickly share (while I'm on public wifi) that I've joined Amazon's new ebook community, Write On! Feel free to join me there!
I've also signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo again, and look forward to catching up on all blogs as well as resuming my novella, The Children of Mossy Hollow.
More updates coming soon. Talk to you then!