I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


Two years ago today, I was taken to the emergency room with a serious paralytic episode. I wasn't treated correctly, and it began a downward spiral of episodes that affected my entire body and could have easily been the end of me. I never fully recovered, and my life has never been the same.

I knew the condition, and I knew I was getting worse, but hoped and prayed things wouldn't get this bad so soon. My biggest fear came to pass. Nevertheless, I have to believe that in spite of this nightmare, I am still here because I have a purpose.

Regardless of my struggles, regardless of my disabilities, regardless of my pain, and regardless of my sorrow, God is in charge of the blueprints. Has been since the day I was formed, and will be until I take my last breath.

Purpose. Whatever it is, I pray I am worthy and capable of fulfilling it. I pray that my life...the good, bad, and ugly...will not be in vain.

Whatever it is, let it be done.