I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye 2013, Greetings 2014

I can't believe we're at the end of 2013 already! What a crazy year this has been.

As always, I review my annual resolutions to see how well I accomplished them. I'm not going to beat around the bush here. Without further ado, here goes nothing...

1. Scoff all you want at me for following the crowd, but I need to lose weight.

I lost 13 of my goal of 20 lbs, then gained 3 back. New goal is to lose that last stubborn 10 lbs. From now own, this will be included in my "mainstays" section.

2. Overhaul my computer, including but not limited to better organization of all files and folders.

I made a ton progress on this, but I still have so much to do that it will now be a 2014 goal as well.

3. Sort through all belongings and get rid of anything not needed or used regularly.

I also made a lot of progress here, but I'm only half way done at best. It will also carry over to 2014.

4. Exhaust all possibilities with the government concerning SSI, college, etc.

Almost complete. College is not possible. SSI will be slightly increased in 2014, and I am in the process of qualifying for my own apartment.

5. Utilize the textbooks, DVDs, and other tutorials I have obtained over the past year.

FAIL with a capital F! In fact, this might be the failingest fail in ugottafriend.com history. Ha!

6. Complete, or at least put a massive dent in all unfinished art and writing projects.

She shoots, she scores!!!!! I feel like I redeemed myself a little here. Thanks to NaNoWriMo, I put a ginormous dent in my writing projects. I am so happy that I did this, and I'll be writing more in 2014! I've also completed a couple of art projects for family, and I'm almost done with one big one from college that's been on the back burner for a few years (yes, you read that right). I'll be sure to finish it next year, and I'll share the pic here!



The changes aren't drastic, but here are my new goals!

Drum roll please...

* Get settled in a new place of my own, or at least be on a reliable waiting list.

* Either utilize my possessions, or sell/give away. This of course does not include anything of sentimental value, just stuff with a useful purpose.

* Take updated photos of all art and complete works in progress.

* Have at least one short story from NaNoWriMo published, even if I have to publish it myself.

* Clean, backup, and reorganize my computer hard drives.

* Build or renovate all blogs and webpages until they are what I want them to be.

The Mainstays:

~ Get my health under control (aka DON'T CROAK)!

~ Stay involved in one or more charities/ministries.

~ Read more, write more, and learn more.

~ Strive to be a better person each and every day.

I greatly appreciate all who take the time to read my blog. I look forward to seeing you again in 2014, and I hope it is a most successful year for you! Take care and God bless always.

Friday, December 27, 2013

The last few days, and the next few days

My Christmas started off a bit rough. I left the house early in the morning on Christmas Eve, and found the youngest cat on the property, Lil Bit, dead in the middle of the road. He or she was the runt of the litter and outlived all of them, only to get hit by a car. Such a shame. My uncle is disappointed and said he hopes no more cats find their way here.

The crazy weather has my body flip-flopping from "somewhat functional" to "crash mode" several times a day. It's hard to make any plans when you don't know if you're going to be upright or not. At any rate, I had dinner with the local family Christmas Eve night, and Christmas dinner with my brother and his family. Christmas Eve, I made baked mashed potatoes. Christmas Day, I made three cheese pasta bake with alfredo, cheddar, and fresh mozzarella, crushed Ritz crackers, and bacon from the local butcher. The baked potatoes were especially a hit, and has already been requested by my stepniece at a future event.

That said, I have over-carbed, and my body is paying for it. HKPP and carbs don't get along whatsoever, and although I ate in moderation, it was still enough to be a noticeable issue. My next grocery trip will not include carbs at all, in fact, I will be going to the local produce stand and butcher shop - that's it. I will post my 2014 list of "recipes to nail" soon. I look forward to continuing to learn how to cook. I can't do it often, but I enjoy it when I do.

Not a lot of gift giving goes on these days, at least not among the adults, however I did receive a few sentimental items and a little bit of money - which is always helpful when you have no income. I also received several nice Christmas cards from my friends, including some of my blog pals. I am grateful to all who thought of me.

The next few days, I'll be catching up on housework (between HKPP crashes, mind you) and making to-do lists to knock out in January. I have every intention of resuming art and writing, simultaneously, in 2014. Stay tuned for my annual "resolutions" blog on NYE, as always.

I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrated this month.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Calligraphy Door Signs




Completed my nieces' projects!
Jo has a purple polka-dot room.
Zoey's nursery is animal themed.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Today's project


Hand-lettering is very meticulous work.
I decided to attempt something somewhat classy
instead of doing baby cartoony stuff.








There has been a boom in my family since late 2010.
I have 19 new cousins. I'm not exaggerating. Nineteen.
Here are 4 of them (yes, they belong to the same parents).

There are 21 babies total, including my nieces Jo and Zoey.

Their projects are next. Stay tuned. :-)


Sunday, December 1, 2013

NaNoWriMo is over. December has arrived.

Oh hey look, a REAL update! Stand by for rambling:

NaNoWriMo ended on an extremely quiet note. People dropped like flies after week two. I knew to expect it, but it still disappoints me that most of the cool peeps I just met are already gone. Boo. That's the way the ball bounces in NaNoLand. Maybe we'll reconnect next year.

So what's next for me? Craft projects for family, all of which I am way behind on. I'll share pics when I'm done with each, and don't worry...it's not ALL going to be Doctor Who stuff (but some of it will...I'm just saying...deal with it). :-)

Absolutely loved the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special, by the way. Good show!

In January, I will pick up my writing again and begin revising one of my short stories. I plan to complete the manuscript for that story in early 2014, and will pursue publishing via magazines or fiction journals. I won't rule out self-publishing, but we'll see how things go.

I have a local doctor appointment tomorrow. Hopefully, it will go smoothly.

How sad about Paul Walker. Such a terrible loss. He has a 15 year old daughter whom he had full custody of, and his charity work can be found here. Let's show them some love.

I have to be honest and say that December is a pretty depressing month for me, but I am absolutely positive that it will be better than last year. Thank God for that.


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

NaNoWriMo Complete


I am nowhere in the vicinity of finished with these stories. As far as NaNo is concerned, however, I'm shutting this puppy down a little early, but at the goal of 50K. I have too much going on in my life and not nearly enough sleep.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement through the month of November. I learned a great deal about how this works, and I look forward to attempting NaNoWriMo again in a couple of years.

Those who were interested in reading my stories, stay tuned. I will revise and release at least one, if not several, eventually.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

NaNoWriMo Day 19


I have a jumbled mess at the moment, but at any rate...


Monday, November 11, 2013

NaNoWriMo Day 11 Stats


My life is a bit of a wreck right now,
but NaNoWriMo isn't going too badly.
Almost to 20K, and I plan to be at 25K
no later than Saturday at midnight.


Sunday, November 3, 2013

NaNoWriMo Day 3 Stats


Sorry it's hard to see. Feel free to click.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

NaNoWriMo Prep

NaNoWriMo begins in one week. I won't be uploading the stories here, but I may share a little about them as I'm writing.

The freezer is full of homemade soups for quick reheating, and I'll be using the crock pot like a mad woman. This week, I'll do some bulk cooking in the form of burgers, chicken, and meatballs, which reheat well. I'll go to the store for mixed nuts so I'll have something to munch on during the day.

I will take Saturdays off, because I have local events on all four Saturdays in November. That means I'll have to work extra hard the rest of the days. It averages out to 2000 words a day (the absolute MINIMUM), if I take Thanksgiving off too (I probably will).

There are two NaNoWriMo meetups being planned! There is one on November 1st in Mobile, and one TBD on the Mississippi Coast. I hope I feel up to attending both group sessions.

The NaNo forums have been so helpful the past couple days. I have more pirate info and murder suggestions than I know what to do with, ha! If you want to keep track of my daily word count, I've installed a widget on the right side of the screen.

I've used Evernote for ideas and outlining, but I've decided to use Nisus Writer Pro for the book itself. It has a sidebar that includes spelling and grammar check, a thesaurus, and word count. It's fantastic. I'm ready to do this!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

MDA clinic update, and going to Orlando

CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY.

Not really, but this week is insane:

Monday - went to Jackson, stayed overnight
Tuesday - MDA consult, went home
Wednesday - Walmart run, visited Mom, packed for Florida
Tomorrow/Thursday - Leave for Orlando, stay overnight somewhere half-way
Friday - Arrive in Orlando, Periodic Paralysis Conference begins
Saturday - Conference all day
Sunday - Conference end, genetic testing, leave Orlando and hopefully make it home by 11pm

MDA appointment went well, although my muscles were in bad, bad shape. So heavy I couldn't tie my own shoes, and pain was a 9...almost in tears. Had a good consult, and the MDA rep said she looks forward to hearing about the conference.

Pretty sure I have a sprained right hand, and lucky me, I'm as right-handed as it gets. I can do very little with my left. Doc thinks it's a Carpel Tunnel flair-up, but I twisted it pumping gas last week and still believe it's a sprain. I do know I have CTS, though, and either way, Dr. H wants me to wear a splint for six months. That's going to make NaNoWriMo interesting...as if the contest isn't challenging enough. I'm not backing out, though, so that is that.

I've deactivated my Facebook account for now, but I'll be back soon (for those who are on my list). I've lost a lot of tolerance for the place lately, and need to make a change. I'm not sure what that will entail, but I imagine my blog readers won't be affected.

Prayers appreciated for a safe and productive trip to the conference. And again, I am so very grateful to those who helped make this possible.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Family and HKPP

This has been a wild month, y'all. Sorry I've spent so little time blogging. I expect the next two months to be even crazier, but I am going to try to keep things updated here.

BIG news on the HKPP front...my mom is acknowleging that she is a carrier of the condition, and wants to try the diet restrictions to see if her symptoms improve. We also believe she has two cousins with HKPP, and she plans to contact them for more info. Wow. WOW.

Anybody who knows what I've been through my entire life with this disease, and specifically, what I've been through with my mother, knows how huge this is. I've traced it back to her paternal grandmother, based on stories about her bizarre sickly behavior and random periods of being bedbound having to be waited on. Mom's father also displayed symptoms. He would frequently lie on the couch and "act like he was dying", and insist that he couldn't get up. Then later, he would be up and around again. Everyone said he and his mother were lazy and crazy, and he even spent time in a mental hospital. How horribly sad that my grandfather and great-grandmother suffered like this and nobody believed their misery was real.

At this point, I'm waiting for Mom to contact the cousins, both of whom have mentioned "Fibromyalgia" type pain and limitations so severe that they have lost quality of life. I've never met them, but I hope they will be willing to accept the information I send their way. With a 50/50 chance of having the condition, well...let's get real here...you know it just about has to be HKPP. I was misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia myself when no one could figure it out...that's the go-to condition these days when doctors get tired of searching. So anyway, I hope I can connect with these relatives, at least long enough to share the facts. I pray it's helpful to them and their future generations.

The PPA Conference is less than 2 weeks away...I can't believe it. I hope I'm feeling better than I'm feeling at this moment, because I'm currently laid up in bed, weak and in a great deal of pain. I really need to be in decent shape for what will be a busy weekend of seminars and socializing.

Talk to you soon.


Edit Note: Mom quickly backed out of all of this, and tried to pretend the conversation never happened. Apparently "God" spoke to her again and she's back to fighting demons instead of her medical conditions. I give up.

Monday, September 2, 2013

It's already September???

Sorry my blogging has been sporadic lately...trying to stay busy! It has been a morale boost to dive back into my Genealogy. I've traced one side of the family back to 1642, another to 1705, and another to 1711. I even found the family crest from the 1600s in France!


The top one-third of the shield is called a Chief. It signifies dominion and authority; often granted as a special reward for prudence and wisdom or successful command in war.

The color gold represents generosity and elevation of mind.

The azure shield is a representation of truth and loyalty.

The argent circles are a symbol of peace and sincerity.

I love history, especially local history. My family is very prominent on the Gulf Coast, even founding one of the cities we know today. We still own some of the same land centuries later. Pretty amazing to think about!

I've also been preparing for NaNoWriMo. It's sneaking up on me! Hard to believe it's already September. I have several solid ideas for short stories, and I've been looking at books and watching movies in the name of research. I'll start on the outlines tonight. If I can nail these plots, I will have some pretty cool stories. A few of them are controversial, which some people won't care much for, but that's what makes a book intriguing. I don't want to simply entertain people. I want to ignite emotion, and make them think. We'll see how it goes.

The Periodic Paralysis Conference is five weeks away, and I'm still about $125 short. The economy is rough and nobody really wants to purchase art these days. Galleries are closing left and right, including most of the ones my work was in once upon a time. I also had a tire blow-out that stranded me on the side of the road the other day, so that was a financial setback as well. Then of course there is all of the medication in my HKPP regimen that's not covered by insurance. I'm surviving only by the grace of God and the generosity of others. I'm very grateful to all who have helped keep me alive over the last two years.

Time to go stir the beans and peas on my stove. Hope everyone is having a great Labor Day.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

2013 Painted Bra Art Project Complete




I'm very happy with how this turned out.

It was difficult, especially with my weak arms and hands,
but what a small sacrifice for breast cancer awareness.

I've submitted it to The Painted Bra Art Project.

I'll keep you posted on the auction details!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

HKPP Case Study Article

http://www.midlevelu.com/blog/case-study-week-hypokalemic-periodic-paralysis

I ran across this article by accident. A nurse practitioner diagnosed HKPP in an 18 year old male who arrived in the ER unable to walk. He was lucky (I say that ironically) that his potassium was so low. Otherwise, they may not have known what was going on or believed him at all.

I'm glad the NP acknowledges that it's hard to diagnose HKPP because potassium doesn't always fall below "normal". I am one of those people, and the fact that my potassium doesn't always drastically fall out of "textbook" range is why I was untreated and mistreated for so many years. I am permanently weak at a younger than average age because of this.

I hope people will continue to bring awareness of all of the facets of this rare disease, so everyone who has it will be diagnosed and treated properly.

(Cross-posted to my medical blog at The Fight Against Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis)

Saturday, August 10, 2013

EPIC FAIL. (8/10/13)

Welcome to the August 10th edition of Kelli's Epic Fail:

Woke up and read that a farmer's market would be open today.
Drove there and found 4 booths, none of which sold produce.
Saw I was almost out of gas.
Stopped at the gas station.
Couldn't find my debit card nor my cash.
Realized I left it all on my dresser at home.
Knew I'd never make it home with my car almost out of gas.
Contemplated who to call to come to my rescue.
Oops, I have no phone either!
It's on the dresser with the debit card and the money.
Surely I could make it a few miles over the bridge to my bank.
Son of a biscuit eater, it's Saturday.
Now counting dimes and pennies in the car.
"Yes sir, $2.30 on pump four...sorry about all the change."
Home, with nothing to show for the last hour.

This epic fail has been brought to you by Kelli. Tune in next week to read about her next inevitable epic fail. Same bat time...same bat channel.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Goodbye, Singing River (A Mississippi Mall Story)

http://www.wlox.com/story/23024317/gautier-mall-tenants-get-lease-termination-letters-to-move-out

Thirty-three year old Singing River Mall in Gautier, Mississippi prepares for demolition, where a 390,000 square foot open air mall will arise in its place. While this should bring in much-needed revenue to the small town, south Mississippi residents have mixed feelings about local businesses being evicted in favor of a new shopping center which will include yet another Walmart. I have a few feelings of my own, as this establishment provides a flood of memories of my childhood and beyond.


Singing River Mall was practically my second home. When I was a little girl, my mom, grandmother, and I would buy a Mary Ann's ice cream bar or a Dough Rollers giant cinnamon roll and "people watch" on the bench in front of Service Merchandise. We used to show up before the doors opened in the morning, and we didn't leave until it was closed at night. With people from all walks of life in the 1980s to be seen, rarely a dull moment ensued.

As a middle-schooler, I spent every weekend in Yesterdays game room, later known as Power Play. My favorite: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Donatello, if you're wondering). I remember being overwhelmed when redemption games were brought in, especially when they installed Ski Ball. I was terrible at Ski Ball, but I had fun trying. A few years later, I found myself working in that very arcade. It was surreal to be behind the scenes after being a loyal customer for so long. My brother was jealous, and I am still undisputed air hockey champ, thank you very much.


Shortly after leaving Power Play, I spent a week in Chick Fil A training. Nice people, but my puny arms weren't strong enough to handle their cooking equipment, so I had to quit. I eventually moved on to sell computers, appliances, and electronics at Cowboy Maloney's Electric City. It proved to be the biggest mistake of my life, but that's another story.

I befriended many of the store managers, studied health and alternative medicine at GNC on my lunch breaks, bought dozens of Beanie Babies at Coach House Gifts, saw epic movies at the theater, turned down dates and job offers, and power-walked the mall for exercise more times than I could ever guess. My last two relationships could be blamed on this place, since it's where I met them, and I gained a few pounds when La Fiesta Brava debuted down the hall from my job. It was my first experience with authentic Mexican food.


On a December evening, I had to be carried out of the building by co-workers when I collapsed after standing on my feet a little too long. I credit this incident, which followed a decade of symptoms and mistreatment, in finally receiving a diagnosis of systemic disease, including Familial Periodic Paralysis. I returned to work, but it was a struggle. My life was being redefined by this rare form of muscular dystrophy, and I eventually resigned and moved away.

When I heard that my favorite old stomping ground was meeting its doom, I made my way to Gautier for one last visit. With my trusty rolling walker in tow, I snapped a few photos and reflected on days gone by. The mall and I being almost the same age, we sort of grew up together. And as life has always been quick to inform, change happens whether you like it or not.


Yes, we had quite a history together - some good, bad, and ugly. While its end is not a surprise thanks to the area's economic battles, it is bittersweet to see it erased and replaced. I guess you could say it's being redefined, and I certainly know a little something about that. To the friends I made, the jerks I met, the many things I learned, and the moments I won't forget at Singing River Mall...farewell.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Hidden Treasure


I have been devastated for 8 years over thinking that I lost this medal in Hurricane Katrina. Even while sorting through things in storage for the past 2 weeks, it was on my mind. I tackled a box today that contained items that were salvaged after the storm, but hadn't been touched since then. I had no clue what I'd find, but didn't think any of it would be sentimental.

I had considered many times writing Skills USA (VICA) and asking if there was any possibility of a replacement, but I never found the nerve because I thought they would say no.


Representing Pascagoula, Mississippi in VICA State Competition was one of the most incredible moments of my life. At the age of sixteen, I finally felt like I was good at something. I had discovered my niche. I wanted to work in the field of Graphic Arts and Commercial Printing all my life, but my dream was cut short only a few months later thanks to Periodic Paralysis.


I was so shocked and thankful when I ran across it, I burst into hard, ugly sobs to the point that I thought I might collapse. I don't cry often but I'm exhausted from crying over finding this treasure. The medal means a lot to me and I regretted so much that it was gone. I can't believe it was in the bottom of a box all this time. It is badly tarnished and molded from flood water and sewage, but I hope I will be able to have it restored someday. When I do, I'm getting it professionally framed.


 Now I'm crying all over again. I'm going to go send a card to my Graphic & Print Instructor now.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Migraine meds a no-go...definitely.

I regret taking Zomig so much right now. After only one pill, I had an episode...slumped over literally pinned to the bed unable to move. Four hours later, was able to get up and do a Frankenstein walk to the restroom (8 feet from my bed), and almost couldn't open my mouth enough to swallow my emergency liquid potassium at bedside. At some point, I said in my mind "I really don't want to die today, God". Dramatic, but whatever. I meant it. I fell asleep for a few hours. I'm still moving in slow-motion and it's been over 9 hours since it started. I feel like I just came out of anesthesia. I feel every muscle in my body and I cringe with every movement, even hurts to breathe. I would have blogged earlier but I couldn't keep my eyes open or type. I still can't open my mouth enough to do more than sip liquid K.

P.S. - And I still have a damn migraine.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Local Clinic Update 8-1-13

The clinic had no explanation for the mistake made on my Inspra script (see last medical update if you don't know what I'm talking about), but they called the pharmacy and worked it out. Now I'm back up to 100mg a day, although I am supposed to be on 200. I'll have to wait till I see Dr. F in November, then Dr. B again in December before it will be increased again. At that point, I will be back to where I was supposed to be nearly a year prior. Lord, this has been so frustrating.

In other news, Dr. B wants me to try something...anything...to deal with the constant migraines and tremendous lack of sleep. As those with HKPP know, the meds he prescribed for this (migraine med and a tricyclic) probably won't go well and I expect to have to discontinue them quickly. Maybe I'll get lucky, but history proves that these type of meds cause serious HKPP symptoms in me. We'll see. I start them tomorrow night.

He had no answers for my ailing right kidney. No infection shown, but he put his hand on my back and I nearly jumped off the table. No clue what the thing is up to, but it's giving me a lot of grief at the moment. Maybe the meds I start tomorrow will help a bit.

If you're confused, I don't blame you. Here's the rundown:

Dr. F is Nephrology and Internal Medicine. He and the doctors at the MDA clinic are in Jackson, MS. I see them several times a year and consider them my primary physicians.
Dr. B is local. He's Internal Medicine and runs a low-income clinic where I receive medication assistance. I have to take my scripts from Dr. F to Dr. B, who has a program for people like me who can't afford their medications. He has decades of experience and is widely respected. He has read about Periodic Paralysis, but I am the first person he has met with the condition.

All of my docs couldn't be nicer, and I'm grateful. I believe they are doing their best, and that's all I can ask for.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Renal Clinic July 2013, and Circumstances

I'm frustrated about my latest appointment. I was doing okay until the nurse discovered that my Inspra script wasn't filled correctly, which means I've been taking much less than I what I was prescribed. I have no idea how it happened, but I'm so mad at myself for not noticing that the dosage was wrong. With a migraine and running on 2 hours sleep, this news derailed me. Dr. F wants me to titrate the Inspra, so the script was rewritten for less than what I would have been on, and Medicaid doesn't pay for it so I have to take it to my local doc office and apply for patient assistance. That will take another several weeks. I'm upset that I'm going to lose another 1/3 year (next appointment is in 4 months) of potential quality of life that I could have gained had the script been correct to begin with.

I am so grateful to friends for getting me to the appointment on such short notice. Finding a way to Jackson is getting harder, and it is extra stress that I don't need. I have an ultrasound on the 24th with no transportation as of today.

Dr. F wants me to start using the Cardy meter regularly again, so I'll have to invest in the calibration solutions soon ($88 plus shipping...ouch). My potassium continues to fluctuate daily.

Although my weakness is profound, everyone said I'm doing better where the paralysis is concerned, so I'm trying to slap on a smile. I met a new doc in training (Dr. H), and he was nice. He agreed that I basically have to choose my own poison. I can follow a muscular dystrophy diet or a kidney disease diet. They contradict each other, so it's a no-win situation. He's not familiar with Primary HKPP and I wouldn't have expected him to be. No big deal. He and Dr. F both seem like sweet people, and I'm thankful they are trying.

I wanted to bring up several things, but I didn't go through my list at all. By the time three doctors were in the room, I just wanted to go home. I came across as obnoxious, I think, although that is never my intention. I'm just tired, agitated, in a lot of pain, and understandably afraid of my future as a single, disabled, chronically ill woman with no income and no relief in sight. I'm a level-headed person, but Grace has never been my name, and it probably never will be.

I'm going to talk to Social Security soon about any possibility under the sun of finishing college online through federal financial aid. I expect them to say no, but I want it in writing. To be stuck here unable to care for myself, watching life waste away, relying on people around me for everything is not living. I don't have a prayer if I don't figure out something.

I'll continue free open courseware regardless. I've downloaded some courses from MIT and I'm diving back into Psychology, Social Studies, and Art Therapy as soon as possible.

I will never accept the way things are at this moment. I will continue to fight for a life worth living.

Monday, June 10, 2013

And this, folks, is why comments are moderated.



Dear "Alan",

I've decided to follow up on your "Kelli's Q&A" comment with a Q&A just for you.

Q: What do breast implants have to do with HKPP?
A: Nothing. Whatsoever.

Q: Who in their right mind would have implants when they're already full figured, and with a backache to boot?
A: Not this chick, nor any sane chick I know. And by the way, unless you're targeting ladies who have never worn a bra in their lives, they know the difference between cup size and bust line. If they are "confused" for some odd reason, I assure you that you, sir, would not be the person they would seek counsel from on the matter. Mama, Sister, Aunt, Grandma, Cousin, Neighbor, or Mama's Sister's Aunt's Grandma's Cousin's Neighbor's former roommate. Not Alan. Nice try, bozo.

Q: Why do you keep insisting I consider getting implants? Furthermore, what makes you think I would go to the other side of the world to do so?
A: Clearly, Alan, you are a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top. You're Looney Toons. Cray cray. Insane in the membrane. Loco. Nuts. Bonkers. Batty. Cracked. Cuckoo. Daft. Desperately delusional.

And you're crazy too.

Love,
Kelli


PS - If you caught my Spaceballs and I Love Lucy references, you win the internet.


Friday, May 31, 2013

Three Years Ago (Part Two)






































My time in Florida is one of my most treasured memories.
In spite of chronic pain and declining health, I was at peace there.
Even though I was tired...no, more than tired...I was exhausted,
and every day was a constant unpredictable roller coaster,
my heart aches to return to these days...to the way things used to be.
What I would give for another chance at living.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Three Years Ago (Part 1)



Three years ago today, I was training at the Bob Ross Art Workshop in beautiful New Smyrna Beach, Florida. How quickly things change.

I wasn't well...not by any means. I was on a walking cane, in horrible pain, and sick a lot, but fairly functional and not taking a minute for granted. I made every effort to work part time even though I was on a downhill spiral with permanent weakness due to Periodic Paralysis. At that time, I had no medical help...I appeared somewhat healthy with the exception of the cane, and I couldn't get anyone to listen to me or take my history with the condition seriously even though I had a documented diagnosis.

So, I carried on with life as best as I could. I returned to Florida for training so I could improve my craft and increase business. My students were wonderful, and I desperately didn't want to let them down. I was so happy to be doing what I loved, as seen by the cheesy grin on my face there.

I look at these photos now and wonder how on Earth I did it. It seems so long ago, it's hard to believe that I'm the same person and that is me standing there only 36 months ago. It almost doesn't seem real.

But it was real, and I miss it all so very much.