Thursday, July 12, 2012

I Interrupt This Blog To Bombard You With Food Network Epicness

I said I wasn't gonna do it. I told myself I was not going to blog about Food Network Star.

(Credit: Food Network)



I LIED. LIED I SAY.

If you followed me last year, you know I tweeted, "facebooked", and blogged about The Next Iron Chef like there was no tomorrow. I was a total fanatic. I didn't miss an episode, and I was die-hard Team Guarnaschelli (I still am, thank you very much).

I knew I would probably watch Food Network Star, but I didn't plan to get caught up in it and I certainly wasn't going to bother blogging about it...thus sayeth me.

Girl, please. Who the heck are you kidding? That's me, talking to me. Because I know me, and I know how much I enjoy rooting for people to succeed in something. If life was fair, I would be a foster parent, child advocate, college professor, art therapist...perhaps all of the above. I emotionally thrive in seeing deserving people do well. I am a nurturer at heart...an undercover cheerleader, if you will. I may not be able to accomplish the above goals, but that's not going to stop me from being an encourager...even if that means via Twitter and Facebook while propped up on pillows between naps. It's who I am. I'm stubborn like that.

So I shouldn't have been surprised at myself for falling in love with the show. I like the "mentor" format as well as almost all of the contestants. In fact, some of them I just downright adore. Linkie grew up in Mississippi and is an amazing cake artist who I think is just darling. Ippy has a content, collected, breath-of-fresh-air character. Yvan has a contagious countenance that makes me smile so hard, I want to kiss his face. The people are so diverse...it's really remarkable. Each team most definitely reflects their mentor's personalities, and I think they all did a great job in choosing their contestants.

Team Giada deLaurentiis: Sweet & Smiley

Team Bobby Flay: Technical & Tough

Team Alton Brown: The Epitome of Eclectic


As if you didn't already know, my favorite is...




(Credit: Food Network)

TEAM ALTON, PUNKS! RECOGNIZE!


If you don't think Team Alton is awesomely unique, insanely talented, the etymological definition of outstanding, and absolutely, positively the team to beat, you have no soul.


Cristie: The first to go. I was highly disappointed, as she is from my 'hood. I think she got the shaft, and obviously I wanted to see her go much farther.

Judson: What a sweetheart, and he has a tremendous testimony to share. I am so happy that opportunities are coming his way as we speak. I think he deserves great things, and I'm glad to have found him on Twitter and Facebook. He is adorable and inspiring. I cried when he was eliminated.

Justin: Wow. What can I say about this guy? Unique, interesting, unpredictable...I think this is what makes him so fun to watch. He is a force to be reckoned with, and rightfully so as he is absurdly talented. He might as well be Alton's son. They practically have parallel lives, and they seem to feed off one another's presence. It's really been a cool thing to observe. Justin rocks, and I will be in shock and quite possibly despair if he doesn't make it to the final vote.

Martie: Representing Alabama right! Yeeeeesss! As Susie said, "she touches me so", and as Paula Deen said, "I get her". I could not agree more. I really get her. I think we could meet someday and I have no doubt I would feel like I was chatting with a long-lost family member. Food Network would not find a more friendly and grounded individual to work with. I have a lot of love for Martie, and if she makes it to the final vote (I believe she will), it is on like a chicken bone!!! GO MARTIE!

Emily: Ahhhh, where do I even begin? First of all, check out her website and watch her casting videos. I dare you not to smile. Emily Ellyn took Food Network by storm. She sucked people in with her cute, quirky ways and "flashback to the 50's" style. She comes from an artistic family (Carol Hummel is her Mama, y'all!), and has accomplished more in 30 years than most people do in 60. She seems to have the most lovable, endearing personality. If my little sister Katie was a retro-rad platinum blonde, she would practically be her twin. They are alike in many ways, and I think that is part of the reason why I embrace Emily so much. I just love her. We would totally be BFFs in real life.


(Credit: Food Network)
I heart funny people. They make the world a better place.


In a nutshell, I believe Emily is genuine, and there is no doubt in my mind she can do this. And apparently, I am not alone. Food Network fans exploded into fiery blazes of epic madness over her elimination. I'm almost certain that hellfire and brimstone fell from the angry sky. I was no exception with my first response via Twitter being "WHAT THE EFF JUST HAPPENED???????!!!!!!!!" I don't even say the eff word, so it's safe to bet that I was a tad upset. I sent my disapproval directly to Food Network, as have countless others. Sending her home for a short moment of camera shyness was the worst decision ever. EVER. EVER!!!!!!!

Shortly after, Food Network put up this poll. And the people spoke.

How many ways can one say...BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now we're all wondering what this means. Will they actually bring someone back into the competition? I can tell you right now that in my perfect world, they would bring Emily back and she would end up in the final with Martie and Justin. You have no idea how freaking happy I would be if they were the final three. I just might erupt into laughing ugly-sobs. It wouldn't be pretty, but it would be worth it.

Alton Brown could not have chosen a better group. Way to go, AB! You, Sir, are brilliant.

(Credit: Food Network)
You also make me swoon, but you didn't hear that from me.



Watch Food Network Star with me this Sunday, July 15th at 8pm CDT, and I invite you to chat with me about it on Twitter @ugottafriend.