Friday, September 9, 2011

MAJOR Catching Up!

I know, I know...I have a LOT of catching up to do. This is going to be in two parts, and I'll try not to ramble ten thousand miles long.

PARALYZED VOCAL CORDS...

My last bad attack of Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis resulted in something that had never happened before - I lost my ability to speak. My throat was greatly affected by the attack, and apparently a vocal cord became paralyzed. It felt exactly like the rest of my muscles when they're paralyzed...bee stings and all. It was gone for SIX weeks. As of yesterday, it is finally starting to come back. For the record, my potassium level is higher than it has been in six weeks, so as far as I'm concerned, that further confirms the connection. Not to mention that, hello, I was there when it went away. I'm not an idiot. I know when a part of my body is weak and/or depolarized. I don't care if it's uncommon...this is ME we're talking about. If it's POSSIBLE, chances are it's going to happen to my stupid body. So I spent six weeks in silence, trying to make strangers understand that I couldn't speak but was otherwise fine. People tried sign language, people whispered (why?), and people yelled in an attempt to communicate with me regardless of the fact that I told them that I was NOT deaf. It was simultaneously the funniest and most frustrating experience I've had in a long time. Thank God my voice is finally making a comeback.






THE FOOT OF FAIL...

A light bulb shattered into billions of tiny shards in my bathroom. I swept, I mopped, I wore shoes, and a month later, went barefoot in the bathroom and voila...a ton of glass in my foot. The worst part about this is that I didn't know it happened...thanks paralysis...and a month AFTER the fact, my foot started to blow up and burn and itch until I realized what was going on. Mad as hell, I made an emergency doc appointment where I was butchered by none other than Dr. Butcher - go ahead, laugh. I did. I also yelled a lot (cut with no pain meds, thank you) and was aggressively treated for Staph, which only made the Periodic Paralysis drastically worse. It has been a rough ordeal...frustrating...and unfortunately only a couple pieces of glass have been removed from my foot. There are still quite a few pieces in it, but they are too small to handle. I've been told all I can do is wait for it to come out on its own. Ask me how thrilled I am. And by the way, I bought a rug for the bathroom floor.

The subject in question...skip if you can't stand foot pics:

Wrapped after being hacked, LOL...


A couple weeks after being hacked...the skin is peeling away in an attempt to reject the glass. If you look closely enough, you can see teeny tiny red specks where the glass is under the surface.

I actually decided not to share the really gross pic. You're welcome.


THE TRAUMATIZED TEETH...

In the same week, I began to have severe tooth pain. Wanna see me panic? Make my teeth feel like they're exploding. My stepbrother died from a tooth infection in 2008, so this did a number on me. I don't cry a lot, but I broke down over this. Already being ill, and having to tell my stepdad whose son died less than 3 years ago, and not having a dentist, and being utterly broke and unable to afford a dental appointment...I was not taking this well to say the least. I finally emailed (because I still couldn't speak, mind you) my stepdad's dentist and asked for an emergency appointment. They were super nice and took me the next day. I was able to be seen and it went better than expected, although a great deal of pain resulted from it. It turns out that I did not have a tooth infection, but several teeth are severely traumatized from the clinching and grinding that I do involuntarily due to TMJ Disorder. One of my teeth, the right lower canine, is so aggravated that it's slightly loose and causing the tremendous pain. In other news, I have a lot of very ugly sores from biting the insides of my mouth...lovely! I knew about those, obviously, but they were noted by the dentist and assistant as being really bad. It was also discovered that my roots are deformed, with some of them connected and wrapping around each other, contributing to my exceptionally small mouth. I was warned that if I ever had to have partials, major surgery would be required. Ouch. Not good. Migraines from hell and TMJ Disorder were discussed, and I was prescribed Flexeril. In conclusion, I managed to get through two dental appointments without crying or throwing up, so that is the good news. Dr. C adjusted my bite and impressions were made for a full arch splint that I will have to wear for the rest of my life. Sigh. It could have been worse. I'm in terrible pain, but grateful. And other than all of that drama, my teeth actually look quite well.


CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!


My apologies. It's not easy bein' cheesy.


Catching Up, Part Deux coming soon.