I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Friday, May 27, 2011

Appointments and frustration

The MDA clinic was very kind. We discussed my past records and Periodic Paralysis. They are planning tests, but referred me to University of Mississippi Nephrology also. That's July 21st...over seven weeks away. I've made an appointment with my local GP to address my last two serious attacks and the symptoms that I'm dealing with as a result. That appointment is Wednesday.

I'm weary.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thursday Periodic Paralysis Update

My body is making a slow attempt to recover from this past weekend's episode, just as it was making the attempt after last month's episode. My life revolves around potassium. I take a dose, then count the minutes until I can take another one. I am moving better than I was, but still in bed most of the time and on a walker otherwise. My severe weakness is generalized (overall body) as the last two episodes of paralysis were.

As if I needed anything else to complete my week, I have a kidney stone en route in my lower left side. At least it's moving this time. I haven't brought out the pain meds yet, and don't plan to unless it becomes utterly intolerable.

Speaking of meds, the current ones: Effer-K 25 MEQ x 4, Mag Ox 400 x 2, Claritin once a day, Avapro 150 once a day. As always, the Valium and Demerol are PRN for kidney stones, migraines, and pulled muscles/cartilage. I almost never take them. The meds will expire before I take them all.

I hate pills. I swear to God I hate them so much. I'd do anything to avoid taking medication. I'd do anything to have a body that worked properly. I'd do anything to have quality of life.

Sometimes, all of the effort seems to be in vain.

I pray for a method to this madness.

Friday, May 6, 2011

College, Summer, & Beyond

The Spring semester has finally come to a close. It seemed long, but it always has. I'll spare you the drama and simply say that although I had to withdraw from two science classes, I was able to keep my two psychology classes and I aced them with a 100 and a 97, keeping my GPA in tact.

I'm still down for the count...going on a month now...so I'm out of school until further notice.

I emailed my Graphics instructor and told her that I would not be able to join her program (it's all day campus classes) unless I fully recover. If and when I do, it will be 2013 at the earliest now unless I can manage a full time schedule at MGCCC in 2012. That is unlikely but certainly not impossible if I can get my body under control as it was in 2005. I'm trying to remain hopeful that I will somehow still complete my planned degrees within the next few years.

As of right now, I just dropped my summer semester...it's coming up soon and I can already see that it's not going to happen. I'll graduate later than I wanted to, but I hope I'll be able to return at least part time in the fall. I pray this summer will be a time of recovery. It has to be.

I miss my art. I miss my art classes. I miss teaching and I miss my students.

MDA appointment is coming up, and I still don't have a confirmed ride to Jackson. Prayers appreciated that I make it up there, and that the doc will properly treat me.

Talk to you soon.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Now in my possession


25MEQ (977mg) fast-acting effervescent potassium...the happy medium between the standard potassium pills (which are slow) and a potassium IV (which requires hospitalization).

I've been in bed almost a month, and struggling for years. I'm sick of having little to no quality of life. I'm not settling for anything but improvement.

Game on!