Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

What this world could be...

...if we were all like the tree.

Mentoring Project

Who knew I would be in college at my age?

Who knew that I would ever join a fraternity?

Not me, that's for sure.

I stick out like a sore thumb in Phi Theta Kappa. I remember meeting the PTK-lady-in-charge for the first time. She immediately encouraged me to transfer to a Mississippi university, and informed me that PTK could benefit me through scholarships and other perks if I participated enough. I let her know that I'm in my 30's and that I won't be moving to a big university in Mississippi, but I am joining because my friend Andrea was involved and doing a lot of volunteer work, and that was something that I'd like to be a part of. I sat in her office and filled out the application for membership.

As she took my money, she asked "What are you majoring in?"

"I'm an art major", I replied.

I will never forget her expression as she looked down at me through her reading glasses. She appeared utterly disgusted by my choice. As if an "art major" was not worthy of being in her presence, much less joining her honor society. Her tone of voice even changed. It was almost funny.

I could have taken my sixty bucks elsewhere, but I didn't. I told myself that if she doesn't have an open mind or an appreciation for all majors, including the fine arts, it is her loss. I didn't join for her and I didn't join for the title of PTK member. Heck, I haven't been to one meeting, haven't applied for one scholarship, and don't have a clue where that little pin is that they gave to me when I was inducted. I imagine it's in one of my dresser drawers, collecting dust.

But almost every time I get an email from this lady concerning a charity or volunteer project, I'm on it. Usually anonymously. But this time, someone will see my face and my name, so the pressure is on. I am mentoring a young lady in a middle school on the Mississippi Delta. I just sat up all night and read this book...

...and I will crawl out of my sick bed and drop it off at school tomorrow, where it will then be sent to the young lady. She will read it, then we will meet and discuss via internet. I will encourage her to keep reading, stay in school and make good decisions. This is right up my alley. I love kids and I love mentoring. I guess it's the wannabe-mom in me, but I've always been the type. I want to help. I want people to be succeed in life. I want to make a difference. This is what gets me out of bed. THIS is where I belong.

So whether or not I'm good enough for the lady with the PhD who rules the honor society roost is meaningless.

I want to be good enough for a 12 year old named Kiarius.

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Glass

I will never get used to systemic disease.

Or the burden of needles, powders, and pills.

Or the constant pain and exhaustion.

Or the chronic debilitating weakness.

Or the bizarre and unpredictable symptoms.

Or the realization and frustration of so many limitations.

Or the fear of others not understanding.

Or the feeling of urgency in living and loving with all that I have, because I know it could all be over in an instant.

I will never get used to systemic disease.

But I will never forget to be thankful for blessings of hope, mercy and grace in each and every day.

A priceless gift given to me in spite of painfully obvious overwhelming humanness.

The glass is half full, in spite of all circumstances.

May I choose to see with eternal perspective.

May my heart forever be grateful.

May I never take life for granted.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

FYI Bloggers

Hello my good peeps, just a note that I have noticed some of you have chosen to lock your blog. That's cool because I've done it at times myself. However, if the blog world doesn't have permission to read your stuff, just an FYI that I will no longer have you linked on my blog. It just doesn't make sense to promote you if you're not going to let people read. Same goes for those who have abandoned their blogs/websites.

So over the next several days, I am going down my BloggerDash as I do each year, and deleting those who have locked or abandoned their blogs. I get over a thousand hits a month. That's not much to many of you, but it is to me and I want to make sure that those I promote actually have something to be read.

Thanks for understanding.

Hope all is well with everyone! Still playing the kidney stone game 'round here...unfortunately. But I'm hanging in there. Lots of updates from me coming soon.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Kidneys don't know how to tell time...

Another kidney stone.

Right kidney is killing me.

Praying it passes asap or goes dormant again.

This is terrible timing as I have so much to do this week and this month altogether.

As if there's ever a "good time" to have a kidney stone.

I have no idea how many I've passed now. I lost count at 30.

I feel like I'm living in prison. Bound by disease. Behind bars of disability.

I don't know why I was chosen to walk this road, or why God allows it.

But I know I'm not alone, even when I feel that way.

And I count my blessings in spite of it.