I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Monday, October 19, 2009

A heck of a time

I don't know what else to call this entry. I'm just having a heck of a time. Lots of ups and downs. My condition(s) are an hour-to-hour event these days. I'll be able to tolerate the pain and weakness and function one hour, and the next I'm so miserable that I have to go to bed. It's just craziness. I feel like I'm being stabbed with a jagged knife 24/7...I wish I could get a break from it.

Nevertheless, I've been fairly active this weekend. Worked at a charity event on Saturday, painting faces...



It was fun. :)

Also worked on a lot of Secretary stuff for the Art Guild this weekend. Oh, I don't even think I've mentioned them here yet because things have been so nuts. I'm a member of the Art Guild at my local college, and they asked me to be Secretary there too. Love those youngins...most of my peers are in the 18-21 year old range so I joke a lot about being the old woman who's almost old enough to be their mother. I love school and will be sad when I have to leave. I wish I was better at drawing (I suck...no really, I do) and I wish so much that I felt better. Some days are just awful and it's all I can do to keep from bursting into tears. Other days are better. I laugh as much as I can (having a silly teacher helps) and try my best to make it through the day. I've missed one class so far...hoping I can make it through the next 2 months without missing anymore. Although, I may very well miss Thursday since my biopsy is Wednesday. I'm really, really dreading that. A lot.

Saturday was my brother Max's birthday. He would have been 14 years old. Hard to believe. I wish he was here.

I guess that's all for now. I have a very busy Monday at school, so I am going to try again to get some sleep. Hope everyone has a blessed week.