I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Documenting for future reference...

Full Hypokalemic attack around 3am that lasted all night and most of the day. No sleep, severe pain head to toe, disorientation, trembling muscles, fluctuating body temperature, usual breathing issues. 6:00pm now, hydrated with a berry banana smoothie and fluids. Had Kashi microwave meal for dinner at 5:00pm. Walking a little better but very weak and in terrible pain.

Triggers: cleaning the kitchen at midnight + no sleep + chronic pain.


Will be documenting more thoroughly from now own.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Three things that I never do:











1. Go barefoot.
2. Paint my toenails.
3. Take a photo of my ugly feet for the world to see.

But I did it yesterday for a good cause. Go to http://www.tomsshoes.com/OneDay to see how you can help kids around the world who are in need of shoes.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Turned away again...

How many times am I going to be refused medical care in my life? I seriously must hold the record for this. I need to call Guinness.

So the clinic that is affiliated with United Way is not as charitable as expected. Turns out that they have a required MINIMUM income of $7000 a year.

I don't even come close to that.

The lady was very nice, and couldn't apologize enough.

I told her that I understood, and that she didn't make the rules.

I also told her that when I was working, I made donations to their clinic.

All she could say was "wow". She did not want to turn me away, but had to.

She suggested the Health Department, so I went there and the clinic was closed. I will call them tomorrow morning. I also called the Muscular Dystrophy Association and left them a message. I'm hoping to hear back from them tomorrow. The nearest office is in Montgomery, 3.5 hours away, but I'll go if they will do something.

Somebody has to do something. I can't live like this. I am trying not to be angry, but it's hard. I have always slipped through the cracks where medical help is concerned. I have lost count of how many times I've been refused care due to not qualifying or not having enough money or having no insurance...and right now, I feel like I am going to die young because I'm poor.

That is honestly how I feel right now.

I am chronically ill and disabled because I don't have any money. This has been happening since I was a teen.

Something has got to change.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Cards for Operation Gratitude

My current project for Homespun Helpers...

















Cards for overseas troops.














More to come!

School Plans

Ok it's official. I am eligible to receive the full pell grant for 09-10, and after comparing the costs, it makes the most sense to return to MGCCC. Even though I am ticked off at their major screw up 10 years ago that has temporarily killed my GPA, it is still worth returning to take that class again (even though I don't need it), which will cancel out the F they mistakenly gave me and my GPA will be restored to whatever it is supposed to be after receiving the new grade for this class. Which is, btw, Music Appreciation. Pfffttth. Whatever. I'll do it.

Seriously. USA's tuition alone is more than double MGCCC's, and now they have tacked on football fees of $253 per semester on top of their building fees, application fees, health fees, transportation fees, and all other fees that they are making people pay per semester whether they use them or not. At MGCCC I can take that unnecessary MA class as well as others, all online, and still come out way ahead and even get a check in the end. So it's settled. I'm applying at MGCCC.

There. It's done. I'm not changing my mind again. It will be worth it.

Three semesters at MGCCC, then transfer to a university for Art Therapy.

God willing, I will somehow find the health and physical ability to do this.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Smile Through The Pain














I gotta tell ya, this photo almost didn't happen. I was so, so sick and just a few hours earlier in the day I couldn't even get out of bed. I was very disappointed as I sent a message to Brad to let him know that I was probably not going to be able to make the trip. So disappointed, that the stubborn Celtic-Cajun-Native American came out in me and I said to myself "Self, get your butt out of this bed and go meet your friends. You may never have the opportunity again. Just get up and do it."

So I did. And it was rough. I couldn't eat anything without being sick, and was in so much pain that I was in tears. But I sucked it up and met Gina, Paula, and Brad at the beautiful Beau Rivage resort. All great people, and I really enjoyed meeting them. The whole night was a blessing, and I'm so thankful that I could be there.

Thank you, friends, for your time, your smiles, and your prayers. I am a lucky girl.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Denied medical care for the 123456789th time...

I was turned away today due to not being able to pay in full.

They don't do monthly payments anymore. It's all or nothing.

I was $70 short.

My circumstances were ignored.

They canceled my appointment.

I came home and filed taxes.

My earned income credit is none other than $71.

But I won't get it for 4 to 6 weeks.

By then, I'll need it for gas and groceries.

So once again, I'm screwed over by our great American medical system.

Welcome to the story of my freaking life.

Monday, April 6, 2009

This weekend...

2 am, up drinking fluids and dealing with my newly-acquired sunburn. Ouch.

Yesterday was exhausting, but fun. We had an incredible crowd, and the wait in line was up to an hour and a half before the Sheriff's office finally had to shut it down and tell people to go home. I have no idea how many faces I painted...it was just chaos. We had a good time, though. Pics and video coming soon.

Today was horrendous. Due to being ill, I arrived late to Pass Christian, and had to leave early. I was nearly in tears the whole time, and completely useless. Didn't paint one face. Just sat, took up donations, handed out fliers, and got sunburned. I actually had to stop at a rest area because I was sick while driving. Never again am I gonna let myself make a commute like that in such misery.

Later this morning, I will call the local charity clinic and see if they can treat my condition. If not, I will call my doc and ask for an emergency appointment. If that doesn't work out, I will have to consider the emergency room.

Off to put aloe on my neck, face, and arms. Then back to bed. I appreciate your prayers and comments here and elsewhere. Will reply asap.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I am outta my mind...

It's four in the morning, I have to be in Pass Christian, Mississippi at 10:30, and I haven't even gone to bed yet. I do believe I'm a few fries short of a happy meal, folks.

A migraine is easing up, but the rest of me is still in bad shape. I've blown up like a balloon from the swelling, to the point that I feel like I'm gonna explode. A lovely mental picture there.

I am going to make the trip to Pass Christian (1.75 hours away, approximately) to Art In The Pass to paint faces. Should be fun, and if you're local, I hope you'll come by and see me. But don't get too close or I'll slap some paint on ya...like this!



















And you might end up looking like a giant sunflower........like this!



















If you're second guessing...yes, it's me. All sunny-sunflowered-up. My 11th grade student painted me, and I painted him. Then we took turns walking around the recreation center scaring people. Ok not really. Or maybe we did. That's debatable. All I know is that the very minute I walked out of the classroom looking like a flowerly freak, a group of manly men came strolling out of the racquetball room and appeared quite startled...haaaaaaa! Twas funny! :D


So anyway...sick or not, fun shall be had in lovely Pass Christian.