I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Monday, January 26, 2009

Dear Mr. Spider:

First, I would like to extend to you my sincere appreciation for your life-long effort to rid the world of pestilence. I, for one, am grateful.


I don't feel that this gives you the right to share my shower. No offense, but I don't find you very attractive, and even if I did, I prefer to shower alone. No really...I do. Trust me on this.

So I hope that you weren't too upset with me when I smashed you into oblivion. And if at all possible, please shoot a little message to your spider cousins to get out of my kitchen, or they will soon join you. I'm sure you understand.