I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be,
but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
— Douglas Pagels

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Down for the count...

My body is absolutely freaking out on me again. Sometimes I think the pain is going to drive me out of my mind. I don't have a dime to go to the doc for further tests, but somehow I've got to figure this out. Social security won't listen to me without a well defined, incurable diagnosis, but nobody wants to give me a job when they see how physically incapable I am. So what in the world am I supposed to do? It's hard to feel hopeful when there is no relief in sight, especially when the refrigerator and gas tank are empty. I'm going to have to ask my stepdad for help again, and that's really depressing.

Nevertheless, I am going to try my best to function and get some things accomplished this week. I still have a lot of unpacking to do, and have to prepare for my upcoming demo. Thank goodness I won't be on my feet for that...they are setting up a table for me to sit at with my table top easel. That's a relief.

As far as volunteering at the shelter on Christmas Day, the only way I'll be able to do that is if I'm given a sit down job. I'm going to ask and see what I can do. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, I guess there's next year.

Things are going to get better. Somehow, they will.

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